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Goodness me. Are you wanting a soulmate in a human being or a dog?
That book I recommended can be thought of for singles as well as married people. It’s about understanding the male brain works and to give women an insight into that. I you give up reading and wanting to understand these things then I don’t really think you are interested in finding a solution.
Remember that you as well as your boyfriend are people. The way you are laying it out, to me, is your getting pissed when he fails. Fails to call in at the right time, fails to live up to what you think is your ideal boyfriend, fails to do anything. This is so fundamentally the wrong mindset.
You are keeping him on your own leash. Keep this up and he’s gone – no one deserves that kind of treatment.
Did you read what you wrote? What I want to fix or change about him is – wow, that is so not the mindset to have. You are never going to get anywhere in thinking you have the right to change a person to be something you think you want.