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I didnt mean for it to come off that way. I am just frustrated he asks so much from me and I dont get a thank you ever. I just wanted us to be able to communicate better this way I could give him the things he is asking for. I did finish the book and actually sat down with him and had a huge conversation were we basically told each other how we each feel when the other acts a certain way or does certain things.Since we had the talk i was able to relate alot of the feelings to the book and I have more of an understanding of were he is coming from and I see that he is right and that he isnt out to hurt me. The only thing I cant seem to control is the feeling that no matter what I do or how many of the things he needs I do that we may never be secure ( and i mean secure in the thought that he wont stop loving me ).
For example today I controlled myself from asking the same insecure questions but in my head I wanted to make sure everything was okay and that he was really okay. Even though he said he is good and that we are good and that he wants to work on things because it is worth it I still do feel like maybe slight chance that we may not be. I have had horrible relationships in the past with men who were controlling and abusive and I guess with him I just feel like im waiting for him to leave or do something horrible to me. I do believe that is also the reason I feel the need to control things in the relationship which as you stated before “is so not the mindset to have. ”
Im sorry if i came off way to strong or like im trying to own a dog im not in any sense im just frustrated and wish our communication was better and that I could just see that if he says its okay that he means it.