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Personally, he needs to seriously take stock of his life and list all the things he values in life – you'll be one of those things. Have you thought about sitting down with him, in a quiet moment and doing that sort of exercise together?
He'll see that you value him and make that very real in his life.
As far as other negative issues in his life such as family … I'd look at those in such a way as whatever is dragging him down at the moment then jettison them until a latter date until he's able to cope better. As an example and this sounds a little harsh, get rid of his family for the moment and concentrate in achieving his college goals as a first step.
You guys need to start taking some baby steps in getting to a destination. Bypass negative distractions and keep on the main road until a few things can get sorted.
You're both young with lots of life still to live.