Thanks for the book – most challenges worth talking about will end up this way so all cool.
You know two of the highest blockages people tend to have are self-image challenges and self-sabotage. Sounds like this guy probably has or had both.
Can I make a suggestion on how I'd initially approach this?
Give this relationship another chance, being mindful of what it is you want out of it i.e. No frigging sitting at home, become a real part of his life so meet his family and friend (as well as him meeting yours) AND having all this new stuff. If he's really changed, the changes need to be a part of who he now is and not just stuff being invented to win you back.
If you get agreement on this and it does become a reality, you both need to work on the self-image/sabotage stuff.
Everyone in this world of ours is worthy of true happiness with someone their share love with including this guy. Smash that into his head. You are worthy of him and he's worthy of you, no buts or maybes.
Mind you if his efforts in winning you back result in the same rubbish as before, it's not real for you and you'll need to probably dump the relationship and find one that is going to make you happy, in the long term.
Does that make sense to you?
Let me know if I need to elaborate on anything too.