Yvonne, you are manifesting BS back into your life, with what sounds like a wonderful guy.
Your ex is now an ex! The things you don't want, OK? You need to form a habit (which takes about 2 weeks or something) on positive focus and the godo traits with this new guy. Historical baggage will consume you until you make an effort to actually admit you have baggage and decide it's negative and then continue to do what you should be doing. As an example, Pam couldn't even get to her own admission despite all her own past relationship mishaps and look where we/she/I have ended up.
If you feel slightly suffocated, talk to your guy about it, in a positive way. Tell him you've got some issues due to the ex and explain you need to overcome them and say the positive qualities you see in him that you so enjoy. Avoid negative BS too.