GaryNesbittParticipantSeptember 20, 2010 at 12:07 amPost count: 20
Well here we are at the last in my little series of the 10 Simple Things I Recommend to Keep Your Lovely Partner Happy. One of the big life lessons for me was yesterday’s on ‘If She Isn’t Broke, Don’t Fix Her’. That one I learnt the hard way ☹
Always Play To Win
Like a top athlete, do they have the mental attitude of ‘OK, let’s just have a good time and see how we go’?
Ummm, no, their entire mental process is around their activity has the highest priority and they’re out there to win and come in first place and win the gold.
Get Wisdom in your Relationship
You know the athletic wisdom that warns against playing not to lose, that argues you have to be loose to let your skills flow and maximize your game? Same goes for marriage. Oh, sure, you can have a perfectly fine little partnership by taking the cautious route. He & She Inc. may even hum along nicely if you companionably sidestep the briar patches. But that's no way to be a great husband / partner. She's entitled to more, the full monty, the whole experience of being affiliated with, no, make that loved by, a man.
People often settle for accommodating coupledom because they're afraid some explosive issues will blow up the marriage. They fear ending their days alone, living under the bridge behind the high school. Set yourself free to play bravely by taking the big risk, divorce, off the table. Decide that you meant what you said at the wedding, that this woman, come what may, is your partner for life.
Relationship Problems Are Gone
Older couples often report that once they've gone past the point where they might leave each other, their partnership gets an invigorating second wind. No longer afraid of being alone, they talk things through. In pursuit of something richer than mere amity, they explore regrets, grievances. Sure, it can be difficult, but it's full and human and adrenal and—hallelujah!—not dull.
And it can lead to a more spacious marriage, a connection that is full hearted and well tempered instead of taped together.
You’re relationship with your partner and you being part of a couple of soul-mates should be viewed in exactly the same light as a top athlete. Top priority to come in first place as a truly successful couple with trust, intimacy, honesty, openness who are travelling forward together with similar, aligned goals in life. And also throw in mutual personal growth with give and take.
Does this sound like you? Does it sound like the qualities that you’d love to aspire to? In my opinion, they should be.
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