MartinKeymasterMarch 16, 2012 at 10:46 amPost count: 250
I thought it might be better and more focused to transfer the below comment from the Why Women Need To Know About Male Radar blog post to here.
Here’s the comment and questions:
” I personally have struggled with this with my husband.
I am a very attractive woman (the one that is usually stared at by other men) but I have noticed my husband looking at other women. I have never been with another man that has done this & most of the time the women are what I would consider less attractive than me.
So I don’t understand it, probably never will & it has led to several fights between us.
I feel like men are never satisfied with their woman, no matter how smoking hot they are their man always wants to look at other hot women.
Why is it that men can’t just be satisfied with looking at their own woman?
I’m not talking about “noticing” other attractive women, but looking over & over & over.
Can you explain?
To me if a man is satisfied with his woman & how she looks (which I know he loves the way I look) why would he want or have the need to see other women?”
MartinKeymasterMarch 16, 2012 at 11:53 amPost count: 250
Men and women struggle with their own issues.
Women with body image challenges and men with their own primal urges which include their visual and sexual instincts (which this post is going to look at).
The issue the ‘cat' is concerned about involves both these gender conflicts. Both are ingrained. All men have their own visual ‘Spank Bank' or ‘Image Bank' of stimulating females which include their partners. What needs to occur though is for the female to truly understand that men don't stare out of contempt or malice. They do it because they are unable to resist – this includes all men, church leaders, politicans, fathers, brothers, husbands and sons.
A simple analogy is a simple cough, in public. If your husband was to cough, you'd think nothing of it. That cough was a reflex he can't stop. Unfortunately, looking at females is the same. You'd forgive a cough but you're unable to forgive ‘looking'?
That involves a women's internal dialogue concerning her own self-image. And that insecurity is exacerbated by a lack of understanding by her male partner too. If he understood that his natural reflex of looking also impacted on his partner's self-image, that enables him to take preventative action on how and when he ‘looks'.
As an example, my wife Pam is the most gorgeous woman in the world, my world. Sure she has imperfections like we all do but those make her even more beautiful. Knowing that all woman have these little self-image thoughts allowed me to consciously look away and divert my attention away from looking at other women when I'm in her company.
I always have the thought of looking but I keep the thoughts of looking away in my head as well. I want to remain respectful of her and who she is and the importance of her in my life. I know it might sound silly in a woman's world to know a guy needs to consciously look away from a woman walking towards him but I do it and need to do it.
What might help ‘cat' in her situation is to have a conversation with her husband and explain to him that she understands his primal instincts about ‘looking' and also explain that they both need to reach a win-win situation since the looking affects her. It might be as simple as explaining to him that he needs to look away when in ‘cat's company. She needs to be protected and respected.
carla bonesteelSeptember 13, 2012 at 6:01 amPost count: 0
I believe it's a natural instinct. I am a woman, and I stare at other people too. Even other beautiful women. Don't take it personally.
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