MartinKeymasterSeptember 29, 2010 at 6:29 amPost count: 250
Having gone through a diy divorce 2 years ago, I recognise a lot of guys (and ladies) view this as a potentially negative and angry period in their lives. And, indeed, generally dealing with divorce are regarded as a very stressful and money draining part of a person’s life.
I’d like to post a series where I outline some of the areas I thought differently to achieve a win-win divorce and avoid the stress, harm, anger and divorce lawyer expense.
Both sides must let go of their anger and guilt, agree to a financial and emotional win-win ending and ensure the well-being of any kids that are also involved.
Your Marriage Was a Success
For whatever reason, the marriage that’s ending started for a reason and I’m guessing love was in there somewhere.
So for a period of time, your marriage was indeed a success and that’s a wonderful thing. But all things change in life so if your marriage lasted a year, 5 years or 20+ years, you did have successes you should be proud of.
Hold onto the positive here instead of an ending disaster. Your perspective and attitude towards the divorce changes when you do – there is life after divorce.
Remember that life will always be a lesson to us all.
What have you learnt from what you’re leaving? How can you do better the next time? Where and when did you both start living differently and what might have caused this to happen? These sorts of questions are healthy and important to answer fully and honestly to yourself – it’s perfectly OK to see fault in yourself, you know.
Put aside blaming the other person. It takes two to tango and any breakdown in any relationship will have blame on both sides so face up to and take responsibility for your own
We’re always open to growing, evolving and transforming to be a better person.
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