MartinKeymasterSeptember 30, 2010 at 3:38 amPost count: 250
Here’s Part 2 of my divorce advice and divorce facts on being able to go through a divorce and come out smiling – do catch up with Part 1 HERE where I touch on Divorce as a Success.
Create the Reality
Ever heard of the victim mentality? How about a winner’s mentality? Would you prefer to be a victim or a winner?
Your reality is created by reacting in certain ways to circumstances that are going to occur through the divorce process. You’re the only one who has the power to choose how you react to these, whilst remembering that positive action invariably leads to positive results.
There’s a great saying:
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”
I know myself that often when I’m in an argument, I get an overpowering attitude of wanting to be the one to win that argument.
Why? I’ve no bloody idea, maybe it’s a male thing to be the victor or maybe it’s a plain human reaction. All I know is that this desire to win creates a battlefield which goes on to fuel a pile of truly negative emotions which are entirely unhealthy.
Detach yourself from the anger that powers the desire to win. It’s going to be tough initially however once you can identify it you can be bigger than the anger itself and rise above the battlefield.
You’ve now cleared a huge emotional obstacle and without two warring parties, there’s no war.
Can you cope with divorce reality in this way? Please do leave your thoughts and feedback.
GaryNesbittParticipantSeptember 30, 2010 at 7:03 amPost count: 20
Thanks for this series, Martin.
A really good friend of mine is going through what I see as a nasty divorce – this is what he needs to read.
I let him know about yesterday's post and it seemingly brightened him up almost immediately – it came along just at the right time. It's also heartening to know it comes from a real life situation such as your own. Thanks for the series and I'm sure my friend is looking forward to next instalment.
MitchParticipantSeptember 30, 2010 at 7:38 amPost count: 16
Wow – I agree with Gary here. So strange but I also have a great and old friend who is going through a somewhat heated divorce he wasn't expecting. He's pretty well demoralised at the moment and this sort of real advice is going to help him come to grips with the situation. Thank you and please do keep up the fantastic work with this site.
I'm so glad I'm a member and can really experience our journeys together – it's pretty neat.
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