Is technology causing unhealthy relationships

Is Technology Really Causing Unhealthy Relationships?

Email, texting, and social media have forever changed the way we communicate; even with our significant others.

My better half, Pam Allen, travels five days a week and works long days.

Our chances for phone conversations are very limited.

We rely on email and text messages to keep in touch.

While we’re glad we can communicate so easily during the workday, it does not mean that all our conversations are fluid.

Sometimes more problems come out of communicating electronically than if we just had a two-minute phone conversation.


Words with No Inflection

relationships and technology
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One of the most common problems with communicating non-verbally, whether it is via email or text messages, is that you do not hear the speaker’s tone of voice.

You can take a simple sentence like, “Take what you need out of the bank.” and interpret it as sounding resentful or sounding generous.

Unless you know your significant other’s viewpoint on the subject, there is no way to tell if they are OK with you making a withdrawal or not.

If you are having a miserable day yourself, it is remarkably easy to take that basic response and read all kinds of negative connotations into it that are reflections of your own mood.

When you cannot hear someone’s tone of voice, a quick response can come across as irritation when they are simply just trying to get through a busy day.

Words without tonal inflections are the number 1 reason for unhealthy relationships to start festering into larger issues.


Unhealthy Relationships – Missing Information

This is less common with text messages, because they are brief in nature, but it is very easy to skim through an email from your significant other and miss an important question or statement.

Likewise, they may often do the same to you.

You have to understand that these types of missed communications happen, and can then enflame into unhealthy relationships before you realize what’s happened.

It is best not to get disappointed if you do not get the response you are looking for in an email because some points invariably get lost in the shuffle.


The Social Media Monster

Fortunately, this is not a problem in my relationship, but I’ve seen many relationships live and die because of Facebook.

Jealousy is probably the number one problem that couples face when they both have Facebook pages.

Old flames come back into the picture.

Wives see women they do not know on their husband’s Facebook page.

Men read comments on their wives ’ pages from other men that seem flirtatious.

The list of potential social media misunderstandings is endless.

The question is, do you honestly trust your mate?

If you do trust your mate then what happens on Facebook should not be an issue between you two.

I know from personal experience that many unhealthy relationships start within the confines of social media.

Unhealthy relationships can start easily inside Facebook - beware
Unhealthy relationships can start easily inside Facebook – beware


Mixed Feelings in Communication

We communicate faster now; however, that does not mean that we’re communicating better.

For couples, the speed at which we communicate can lead to mixed signals, confusion, and worry.

When you toss in the additional worry of whoever else your significant other is contacting online it can be a recipe for disaster. Relationships are like houses – the same can be said for unhealthy relationships.

If your relationship is strong, it can survive a little weather damage from miscommunication.

Does technology destroy relationships unless they are already built on unstable ground?

Is Technology Destroying Relationships? 1

Tony Smith is a full-time writer, blogger, and graphic designer with a passion for writing about health, wellness, relationships, and technology. When he’s not creating content for a growing ultrasound technician career guide he can usually be found on one of his favorite social networking sites.

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

9 thoughts on “Is Technology Destroying Relationships?”
  1. Yeah, I think trust is the number one issue. If you trust and communicate then you’ll see 90% of the problems get resolved.

  2. I think that it can really destroy relationship because most people think that without technology their life may never be completed.

    1. Do you think maybe the might think that technology might change their lives as opposed to never being completed?
      Lots of people simply don’t cope well with change – until it’s thrust upon them.
      What do you think?

  3. i really love your article, but i must say that technology did not come to destroy our relationship but it came to help build our relationship. We all know what a relationship is all about, and in anything you do let your integrity count. Any relationship that you found yourself always maintain your integrity whether on face book or anywhere at all.

    1. Hey Esther,
      I was just browsing a few older posts and noticed I didn’t reply to your generous comment – sorry about that.

      It’s funny, technology can really help some relationships and can degrade others. I know when I was in the initial long distant relationship with Pam, without technology like Skype, it would have been unbearable to not talk to her, despite the thousands of miles.

      And other people get rapted in cheating via SMS with people in the same city.
      Go figure!

  4. Yes I agree that technology is destroying our relations we start creating distance between us. It is because we have the option to see and talk with each other from a distinct distance. And we prefer this because this creates ease for us to have connection with more than one at a same time. As there is a quote

    "Mobile connects you with the persons far away from us but we forget who is sitting next to us because of it"

    1. For me, technology actually improved my relationship – in fact, it was what got me into the very relationship that I'm in now – Dating Via Facebook.

      Conversely though, technology can indeed allow a destabilising aspect as well. We're all 'online'. If we're involved in anything sneeky, it can well lead to being discovered.

      A few people I know flirt online which is also done behind their partners' back. Bad choice since it can be discovered and the relationship is then in for a rough ride. If you act from integrity and are transparent with your partner, technology can enrich things – especially if you're away from home and need to keep in touch.

      What do others think?

  5. Love that cartoon! I agree inflection is so important in communication and social media has in many ways taught us we need to communicate differently through these mediums and take more care in what we post as it remains on the web forever.

    I was coworking in a cafe yesterday and took a moment to look up to see that no one was talking, everyone was just working and that's changed dramatically in just the last two years. People socialise on line now and less in person!

    1. Welcome to our site, Natalie.

      Yeah, and I think the proliferation of mobile connectivity has some blame also. Walk into a coffee shop these days and you see almost everyone is tapping away on their smartphones, myself included. Ease and communication adds to this relationship challange – just gotta make sure you're aware of it and ensure you keep some self control.

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