rebound from a failed relationship and breakup

Stretching and Bouncing

Who I was and who I am are still the same.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of relationship purging over the last while.

For me anyway, breaking up and ending a marriage was challenging to do when I’ve invested so much time, energy, support and caring.

Because of the type of guy that I am at my core, there is/was still a part of me that loves her.

More to the point, I love who I thought she was and who I thought we were to become, together.

Time for some soulshaping (or reshaping) of my mine now.


Purging Done

I needed to regain the emotional stability I had lost, so long ago but it’s a work in progress.

In the last few days I have rediscovered that person and the qualities that embody his essence, my essence.

Interestingly, I captured those qualities 4 years ago, in between my first wife, Vicki and my last wife, Pam and in a group mindmap session, with other spirituality connected folk.

Reading it again was powerful for me.

Who I was and who I am are still the same.

I had allowed ‘my being and energy’ to be diverted so the blame for that is mine and mine alone.

I own it, I take responsibility for allowing it to happen and I will regain what was lost and begin restoring the essence of my true self.

That’s the path, for us all.

Martin's Intrinsic Value
Click for the Larger View


What’s The Qualities Mean?

In a short space of time, the mindmap session revealed both my externally seen qualities as well as what radiated from within, hence ‘conscious’ and ‘unconscious’.

A pretty neat exercise.

From the group, they saw me as loving all that love is.

A giving person which has always been evident.

Trusting. I know that I initially trust implicitly which can be a detriment.

And I am always in there for some fun out of life (who really wants to be around some stiff upper-lip toffy-nosed Englishman, huh? :) ).

The big surprise was drilling down into my inner self and pop out the meaning of myself, from my own point of view and beliefs.


The Real Essence

  • Sharing
  • Value
  • Connection
  • Friendship

The bungie rope is now snapping back up.

I’m incredibly fortunate it’s now being held onto by trusted mentors who’ll call me out and adjust my path and thinking, if I need it. (Without deception or agenda)

I’m still listening and learning.

Are you?

bringing back some of the lost fun
The hair is coming back as well :)


What’s Your Opinion?

  • Where’s your bungie cord at?
  • Still going down or springing up?
  • Click a Share button – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

Express your thoughts, in the comments below.

The Bungie Cord and the Bounce Back 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

9 thoughts on “The Bungie Cord and the Bounce Back”
  1. It will be a tough road ahead due to the love you’ve invested. You’ll need to work through the full rainbow of emotions from pain, anger, jealousy and, more importantly, forgiveness of your wife and forgiveness of yourself.
    Well done, for pulling yourself out of the betrayal that was and move to the path ahead.
    Good things will come your way when you allow them to.

    1. It’s been surprising, Adrian, just how tough a road it can be.
      Having an understanding of the mindset of the type of person she is has equipped me far better to move forward.
      Who knows what else she’s been up to but my care factor is now zero as it needs to be about me now. Loving myself and learning from the pain and deceipt is paramount to my own well-being. She’ll do what she probably always has done – secrets and agendas.

  2. It takes courage and commitment to your inner core values to move forward from any relationship that has been severed.
    Bravo Martin … absolutely thrilled to read the above.

    Before anything else in life; “know thyself and all else follows”
    Love YOU as you would your neighbour”
    are definitely master energies of co-operation that set you on the your own path of delivery, without care or concern of what some-one thinks of you.

    Wishing you every best thought for a future that is filled with the ambiance of your inner desires… Tetka

    1. Thanks Tetka for your words of support and encouragement. You must be reading the newsletter :)
      “The Truth will set you free but first it will piss you off”
      I’ve learnt the truth, been hurt by what it has done over the years, started pruning the garden and it’s time to start growing again.

    2. Well said and articulated Tetka.
      While that’s Martin’s true prize out of all of this, there’s going to be some emotional turmoil to be healed too.

  3. hey, i resemble that englishman remark hahaha
    but i understand what you’re saying. we can get trapped into changing without realising it and before you know it, you’re lost. glad you’ve rediscovered who you are

    1. Yeah more so people pretending to be who they aren’t and expecting others to follow along, in belief, Tom. You’re ok if you’re a Pom :)
      Rediscovery is all a process when there’s an awakening. Goes on all your life too, huh?
      Thanks for your comment and joining the community as well

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