The Moments in Life
There are big, giant moments in the life of a relationship.
Awkward first kisses, saber-rattling fights, babies born and anniversaries celebrated.
You know, the kind of events that deserve epic movie scores or their own scrapbooks.
Successful relationships deserve these moments, times in life when we surface from the everyday to celebrate the connections between us with a big high five and maybe cake.
However, most of the success of a longterm relationship depends on the places on the timeline spent between these events.
The quiet pockets of existing together do more to build the fibers that keep relationships a strong than we expect, keeping quiet mindfulness of the everyday miracle of companionship makes being together all the more pleasurable.
My husband and I have been married nearly eight years, and have been each others partner much longer than that.
We have seen other relationships burn hot and fizzle, or go limp under the weight of too much expectation.
Romantic comedies, the wedding industry, and fairy tales weave fictions about romance.
Romance like this does exist, but it is difficult to get laundry done or finish your bachleor’s degree when you are constantly swooning over the prince.
Being Comfortable Together also Means Being Comfortable Apart Too
It is quite easy in a relationship to become suspicious, jealous, or even just feel left out.
Trusting your partner to enjoy life without you is essential to spending a life together. We had close friends who spent all their time together. On rare occasions when they separated, he went wild as if she had been strapping him down.
She, on the other hand, would seem lost and deflated, as if he had been holding her aloft.
Ultimately, they could no longer remain in that support structure, and the relationship collapsed in spectacular fashion. Being comfortable being apart is about building inner strength and confidence.
It’s a cliche, but is difficult to fully accept someone’s love if you do not know how to love yourself.
Taking time to appreciate and value yourself as an individual outside of your relationship only serves to make the relationship stronger.
Relish the Planning
My husband and I love traveling.
Whether it’s a trip up the road to Lake Powell or around the world to Rome, we love to get out and see the world together. One of the most sublime pleasures of travel is the planning.
Often folks allow planning to be a job versus a diversion.
For instance, some brides allow the stress of planning weddings to eat them alive and often ruin what is supposed to be one of those great high five moments by clouding their vision with stress.
My husband and I take our trip-planning very seriously. We live in Arizona and can’t risk getting stuck in the heat! If we’re going fishing we get online and hunt down the best fishing rig, using directory services to find the perfect Page boat rental.
If we are going on a day hike we make sure we have a variety of emergency service numbers in both our phones.
Learning to say, “Grazie, mille!” during those moments leading up to the big adventure often result in the best memories.
Relishing planning things extends special events beyond the weekend trip or two week tour, the anticipation can be just as sweet as the reward.
Laughing at Ourselves
My husband and I have a saying, “You knew that when you married me.”
- I always leave tha cap off toothpaste.
- He refuses to put dishes in the sink.
There are certain everyday quirks that are always going to rub the other the wrong way. Part of being in a successful relationship means being able to see past annoyances and everyday flaws–or even learn to enjoy them as part of the person you fell in love with.
If you are in love, or even if you just want to be in love, remember to appreciate the small moments.
They are often quiet, unassuming, and gentle but they are the parts of your relationship that add up to a lifetime.
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:
- What’s one of your small moments?
- Do you think about them at all though?
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.
And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
16 thoughts on “The Spaces In Between”
I agree with you that it is all about enjoying the little moments in life. Not everything can be great all the time but if you learn to appreciate the small things you will not get so overwhelmed and focused on your problems.
YES KEN! These little moments in life can make a world of difference. Looking back at the little moments that occur in our lives can actually be the most memorable ones.
Life is though but it will always seem easier if you have the right person on your side. Being able to love with all your heart and be loved in the same way is fantastic.
Dan this are very true words! Nothing else like it in the work as feeling the reciprocation of love.
Enjoyed reading this post. Relationship is all about sharing and growing together..It is about being together and yet having their own personal space. If two people know how to keep a relation alive in the long run, nothing like it. :)
Yes! This is what its all about, if you can get the balance of being with each other and your own personal space, it is truly blissful.
Our relationships with other people are worthy to be treasured not only because there are some people involved, but because we are in it. And for that reason alone, we need to be thankful for our relationships.
Very true Vianney!! Being thankful is what it’s all about! And at the same time a humbling experience.
We should all treasure every moment in our life. Whether it is small or a big lifetime achievement, all of these events will just occur once. Do not forget how to live life while you are making a living out of it.
Hey Vianney – nice words.
Did those thoughts come from an experience of yours?
Wow I am glad I read this. I think I forget from time to time that I am my own person and that I can do things on my own.
Good discovery, Yvonne.
Always read we are individuals. And it’s really kinda nice when we have a great person share our individuality with which makes us human and loving.
Yvonne its always important to remember that and healthy! Our time to be able to do “our own thing” is enjoyable and a necessity, allowing us to reflect on everything.
Some inspired wisdom in this blog post of yours Becky. And for a couple who have been married the short number of years you have, they are exceptional. I have been married to my darling for 38 years and the thoughts you have expressed have only caught up with me more recently. And the way you expressed them is delightful. You are quite a wordsmith!
Welcome to the site, John. Thrilled to took the plunge and made a comment on Becky’s thoughts.
Sometimes all of life’s big challenges overshadow the sweet little things that make life such a pleasure, don’t you think?
John, thank you so much for the kind words, Marriage is an amazing thing, and congratulations on the 38 years of it! :)