The Moments in Life
There are big, giant moments in the life of a relationship.
Awkward first kisses, saber-rattling fights, babies born and anniversaries celebrated.
You know, the kind of events that deserve epic movie scores or their own scrapbooks.
Successful relationships deserve these moments, times in life when we surface from the everyday to celebrate the connections between us with a big high five and maybe cake.
However, most of the success of a longterm relationship depends on the places on the timeline spent between these events.
The quiet pockets of existing together do more to build the fibers that keep relationships a strong than we expect, keeping quiet mindfulness of the everyday miracle of companionship makes being together all the more pleasurable.
My husband and I have been married nearly eight years, and have been each others partner much longer than that.
We have seen other relationships burn hot and fizzle, or go limp under the weight of too much expectation.
Romantic comedies, the wedding industry, and fairy tales weave fictions about romance.
Romance like this does exist, but it is difficult to get laundry done or finish your bachleor’s degree when you are constantly swooning over the prince.
Being Comfortable Together also Means Being Comfortable Apart Too
It is quite easy in a relationship to become suspicious, jealous, or even just feel left out.
Trusting your partner to enjoy life without you is essential to spending a life together. We had close friends who spent all their time together. On rare occasions when they separated, he went wild as if she had been strapping him down.
She, on the other hand, would seem lost and deflated, as if he had been holding her aloft.
Ultimately, they could no longer remain in that support structure, and the relationship collapsed in spectacular fashion. Being comfortable being apart is about building inner strength and confidence.
It’s a cliche, but is difficult to fully accept someone’s love if you do not know how to love yourself.
Taking time to appreciate and value yourself as an individual outside of your relationship only serves to make the relationship stronger.
Relish the Planning
My husband and I love traveling.
Whether it’s a trip up the road to Lake Powell or around the world to Rome, we love to get out and see the world together. One of the most sublime pleasures of travel is the planning.
Often folks allow planning to be a job versus a diversion.
For instance, some brides allow the stress of planning weddings to eat them alive and often ruin what is supposed to be one of those great high five moments by clouding their vision with stress.
My husband and I take our trip-planning very seriously. We live in Arizona and can’t risk getting stuck in the heat! If we’re going fishing we get online and hunt down the best fishing rig, using directory services to find the perfect Page boat rental.
If we are going on a day hike we make sure we have a variety of emergency service numbers in both our phones.
Learning to say, “Grazie, mille!” during those moments leading up to the big adventure often result in the best memories.
Relishing planning things extends special events beyond the weekend trip or two week tour, the anticipation can be just as sweet as the reward.
Laughing at Ourselves
My husband and I have a saying, “You knew that when you married me.”
- I always leave tha cap off toothpaste.
- He refuses to put dishes in the sink.
There are certain everyday quirks that are always going to rub the other the wrong way. Part of being in a successful relationship means being able to see past annoyances and everyday flaws–or even learn to enjoy them as part of the person you fell in love with.
If you are in love, or even if you just want to be in love, remember to appreciate the small moments.
They are often quiet, unassuming, and gentle but they are the parts of your relationship that add up to a lifetime.
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
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- What’s one of your small moments?
- Do you think about them at all though?
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