Get Ready … Get Set …
- The proposal. Check.
- The wedding. Check.
- The complete blending of two lives, including all the stuff. Don’t check.
Why does he refuse to get rid of his holey, grass-stained jeans from his college days?
Although more and more couples live together prior to getting married, each couple faces that moment where they must blend two households’ worth of stuff into one residence.
While sometimes this is a good thing – two sets of cooking utensils and more movies for your DVD collection – sometimes it is a bad thing.
Suddenly you can’t get away from those items in your significant other’s life that you really can’t stand. (After all, they can no longer hide clothes in the bottom of a drawer or in the now-communal dirty clothes hamper.)
Here is some advice on the items in your man’s wardrobe you should take a stand against, and those you should really leave alone. So read this list, and then march him down to the men’s clothing section and help him out.
This might hurt him more than it will hurt you.
Toss – Worn out jeans
Your guy might not be James Bond, but he sure does clean up nice – which is why you can’t understand why he refuses to get rid of his holey, grass-stained jeans from his college days.
Give him a little sympathy, and then when his back is turned, throw them in the donation bin and replace with a dark pair of relaxed fit jeans.
Prepare to repeat the cycle in 5 years when the new pair begins to look like the old pair.
Keep – High school prom tux
While it’s illogical, and while he might not be able to fit into it anymore, looking at his high school tux reminds him of that slightly awkward but overly confident guy he was back in the day.
And looking at the tux will inevitably lead to him looking at his high school yearbook.
Which will inevitably lead to looking at your high school yearbook.
Which will inevitably lead to laughter at the size of your hair.
Toss – Holey socks and underwear
His socks are essentially leg warmers due to the number of holes in the toe, and his underwear is unintentionally inappropriate, but for some reason he holds onto his undergarments like a medieval maiden holds onto a chastity belt.
Maybe somewhere in the recesses of his mind he thinks socks still get darned.
Maybe he has forgotten how uncomfortable they actually are.
Whatever the reason, throw out the underwear, cut up the socks and introduce him to a whole new world.
Keep – Sports jerseys (all 200 of them)
Sports jerseys are the male equivalent of scrapbooks.
Each one has a story – ones of joy and ones of sorrow.
You wouldn’t want him to sort through your photographs and delete any that were of the same people or of the same event.
So let him keep his jerseys, if only because they can be really comfortable as sleep shirts for you.
You Know Best Of All
You know more than anyone else what needs to go and what items hold an important place in your beau’s heart.
So, sort and donate with reckless abandon.
Just keep in mind that tearing through his closet and drawers allows him to do the same to yours – so start preparing your case for why you should be able to keep your ex-boyfriend’s baseball tee because that one will be a battle.
Have Your Say Right Here
Is it the right thing for a wife to clear out her partner’s clothes?
7 thoughts on “‘Til Death Do Us Denim”
Initially I opened this post because I had a little giggle at the word play in the title. I laughed even harder though, Geek, as I continued to scroll downward and read this:
Keep – Sports Jerseys (All 200 of them!)
When I moved in with my partner, he was really more than generous in terms of what he ‘let’ me bring with me. I wasn’t overly precious but, naturally, I had more in the way of clothes than he did. The reason I laughed at that previous statement was because I suggested, whilst we cleaned out the walk-in robe, that he might want to throw away a old, ratty looking Jersey that clearly doesn’t fit him anymore and was probably last worn 15 years ago. He then launched into a story, complete with unintended puppy dog eyes, of how it was his Under 17’s football jumper and that he’d worn it that year when they made the finals but got beaten in the ‘Grand’ final by 2 goals because in the last quarter…….and yeah, it went on like that for a little while :P
Naturally, the jersey still resides proudly in the bottom drawer :P
Hahaha too funny, Anita.
But seriously, we all have those special little momentos which hold a meaning or two in our hearts – even guys.
That said, I just let Pam ‘go to town’ on my wardrobe and chuck out anything that she thought didn’t really suit me or was years out of style. She’s the one with the fashion sense so I put my trust in her and haven’t looked back since :)
I quite agree with Phil. While when two people live their life together there is a constant need for compromise, one person should not be telling the other what is best for them. An outside perspective, however, can be priceless, especially with outdated clothes we love that we somehow think still look good on us! In reference to those grungy, nasty jeans he loves so much, a great compromise is that he can only wear them to mow the lawn or tinkering in the garage -no public outings!
Aaargh! This is control at its worst. Well, maybe not worst, but definitely bad. "You know more than anyone else … what items hold an important place in your beau’s heart." Try this: "He knows better than you what is important to you."
Every time you try to control, change, constrain or adjust your lover, you chip away a little bit of him. After a while, he'll start to lose a sense of who he is and what he wants, because every decision will be filtered, subconsciously or not, by "Will she approve?"
If, on the other hand, you replace "You should/must throw those jeans out" with "I don't like those jeans", it changes from a control statement to a self-expression statement, and the combination of openness and lack of control will allow a combination of intimacy and freedom that will knock his socks off, holes or not.
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Hi Phil and welcome back, mate.
You've made some valid and valuable points I think we're missed in the post so kudos for highlighting those. Yeah, it does need to be about mutual respect and transparency as well as openness, with your partner.
I remember when Pammi went through mine, she told me why she wanted to do it, when was doing it, what she had selected to cull and why she thought the items she picked could do with an overhaul. I must admit, her style and taste was spot on the money and agreed. There were a few bits I decided to keep though.
My recent post What’s An Immature Male?
Thanks, Suzanne! I will keep these tips in mind when I must face the drama of combining closets. Between you and me, though, I've already started tossing his old clothes in the donation bag..hehe.
I must admit that my wardrobe looks nothing like it did before I married Pam :)
It's almost like she wrote this post hehehe. Having said that, it's turned out wonderfully as I now understand she's way better than I am when it comes to style and my wardrobe now is up to date, modern as well as good name brands (not that that is something I'm personally in to).
Any other guys had the wardrobe make-over happen to them?
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