Get some therapy and save a marriage

Therapy Can Save A Marriage

A happy marriage isn’t just about getting along day after day, spending quality time together and remembering to say your ‘I love you’s.

How could we possibly know that five years down the line we may become workaholics and accidentally ignore our partner’s needs?

Marriages are not things that can be put on cruise control.

If neglected and left to nature, your marriage can turn into something quite different – a sea of resentment, confusion and a real lack of communication and intentionality.

How can you prevent the occasional relationship blow-up, or even an eventual break-up? By seeking out counseling early on, which will give you the tools to help you cope with the relational hardships that come your way.

marriage therapy leads to more love
Therapy can have huge positive impacts to your marriage


A Marriage Counselor Points Out the Obvious

Many problems can be discussed and overcome with the right method of communication.

Just as you would stay on top of your physical health by going to your annual physical check-up and dentist visit, visiting a marriage counselor is equally important for your relationship health.

When we fall in love, we don’t consider what challenges will come our way. Often, we also forget to consider that our partner is a human being like ourselves who has weirdnesses, issues, and bad habits.

How could we possibly know that five years down the line we may become workaholics and accidentally ignore our partner’s needs and grow apart rather than together?

This is the beauty of preventive marriage counseling.

Not only will a counselor help each spouse to see various patterns of behavior and ways each person communicates to the other, but solutions for a long lasting and healthy marriage to come.


We Could All Use Help Communicating


No matter how good we may be at communicating how we feel in a gentle and unaccusatory way, each of us has characteristics of our being that we can work on. Unless you’re perfect, or somehow managed not to catch the “bug” of reality that everyone else since the dawn of man caught. In that case, you should be in a museum.

One of the biggest benefits of a good marriage counselor is in his/her ability to dissect how each spouse communicates to the other.

What you may perceive as talking kindly to your wife, the counselor may see as talking with a blaming tone. You may not feel as loved by your wife as you used to, while she’s unaware that since the birth of your baby, she hasn’t been paying as much attention to your needs.

Even the best couples need help learning various ways to communicate to one another, and although it can be challenging to move past hardships in your relationship, there’s also a silver lining.

Improving how you speak and act to one another helps your relationship to evolve into something even better that it once was.


Because You Want Your Relationship to Get Better

Most of the time, couples seek out a counselor when they’ve hit a major hurdle in their relationship, snapped it, and fell on their faces; and not a moment before.

They may feel like they don’t have an hour each week to devote to their marital issues, or have the attitude of ‘why go to a counselor when everything is fine with us?’

Has your daily routine with one another consisted of watching TV and barely catching up on the other’s day for longer than you care to remember?

While every marriage goes through periods of disconnection, many additional issues can manifest when you don’t take the time to address what each person’s real feelings are.

As each marriage is unique, so is each spouse’s position in it, which is why a counselor can be so beneficial.


You Will Never Be The Same Again

Your marriage will never stay the same (therapy or not), but with a qualified marriage counselor, you can help it to get even better than it ever was.

One of the biggest lies in the world is that marriage gets lamer with time! It is possible to have a marriage that develops positively with time.

It takes hard work, but nothing is more fulfilling than really connecting and growing with a spouse!


How About You?

What’s one thing your partnership could benefit from, with a little therapy?

Why Every Couple Needs a Good Therapist 1

E. W. Steadman writes for Power of Two Marriage, a marriage and couples counseling group that desires to see relationships made whole.

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

5 thoughts on “Why Every Couple Needs a Good Therapist”
  1. There are certainly times when a good perspective is needed, from a third person. And, its very helpful to find someone who shares our core values. "Qualified" and "trained" therapists may or may not be helpful. It may be best to interview the counselor first, to see whether they are compatible with you. Once you find the right person, both partners can feel more at ease to honestly asses their own behavior, which is generally where the focus is most helpful.
    My recent post Longer Rhythms

  2. I have to agree with this. Sometimes a counselor or therapist can really help save a marriage. I've noticed that people are more likely to talk to strangers about their marriage problems than their own spouse.

    1. Dispassionate insight from an outsider is key in many areas of life. It reminds me of the old '3 blind men in a room with an elephant' story. Each man is feeling this giant creature in different places and have different opinions about what it is because they are touching different parts. One thinks it's a wall, one, holding the tail thinks it is a rope, while yet another thinks that the elephant is a giant water hose because he is holding the trunk. No one sees the world 'as it is'. Our vision is blurred by experiences, presuppositions, and nurturing. Thus, in our most important relationships, we have to let third parties examine how both we and our spouse are seeing the world and each other and offer insight into how we are both partially right and partially wrong. It is always better to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, instead of assuming that they are out to get you. They may feel the same way about you sometimes. The goal would be to properly see our spouses in a more realistic and holistic light. In this way, counseling (even mentoring) can be defined as 'assisted seeing'!

  3. My husband and I have had a lot of issues but we have worked through them on our own. I have to be honest though, therapy would do is good! We love each other, we normally communicate well, but we do have our issues.

    Our biggest issue would be that we just plain expect too much of each other. It was actually a mutual friend that pointed out our issue… and I'm glad he did! I had never thought of it before. You get so wound up in the day-to-day it can be hard to pinpoint the cause of your frustrations, and that is what happened.

    Maybe with a little therapy we could have caught it sooner. Even more importantly, we would have a better idea of how to fix it without getting more upset with each other.

    Sometimes it is hard to see when a small problem starts becoming something huge. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to be able to point it out.

    1. Thanks for your honest comment, Amanda.

      Interestingly enough, therapists actually surround us in our every day lives. You’ve highlighted this perfectly in that it was a friend who alerted you to the fact that the both of you expected perfection in one another.

      I love to think of therapists also as mentors. Maybe it’s a subtle mindset change however just the word conjures up ‘they’ll help me move forward’ whereas therapist sometimes suggests you yourself have a sickness of some kind.

      Maybe this guest post would make better sense with a title of Every Couple Needs A Good Mentor?

      More to the point, fabulous you both discovered that ‘small thing’ and could work out and move towards a better relationship together.

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