Stale Love Life and Distance, Huh?
Five years ago, my relationship was on the rocks and headed towards ending.
For some reason my relationship with my sweet, caring boyfriend had lost its fiery spark.
- When we first met, we were crazy about each other and hardly spent a waking moment apart.
- Where he went, I went.
- Where I went, he followed.
Over the course of three years together, however, things started to simmer down. Even though I was still very much in love with my partner, I started to notice how bored I was becoming with our date nights, conversations, sexual encounters, and overall experiences together – signs of a stale love life.
When I confessed my awkward boredom to my boyfriend, I remember him breathing a sigh of relief. “I feel the same way,” he said to me.
I think most women would have broken down into tears after hearing something this, but I knew in my soul that my boyfriend and I weren’t going to give up on our relationship.
We were committed to making this work for the long haul, so we started to talk about what could have made us lose our once-fiery mojo.
It didn’t take long before we both realized something: we never spent a waking moment apart from each other.
I spent the night at his place almost every night; we texted each other all day; and we both assumed that weekday and weekend plans were dedicated to us spending time together.
When it came down to it, we realized we needed to spend some time apart and give each other the opportunity to rediscover ourselves.
We knew we loved each other – we wanted to prevent a stale love life and once again be happy with each other.
Good news: we worked it out and we’re still very much in love. I’m a big believer in spreading words of wisdom that actually work, so I’ve decided to share with you three reasons why distance can help a relationship that’s on the rocks.
You’ll Rediscover Yourself
Though you may not remember it well, there were once things you did by yourself before you got into a relationship.
Inevitably, you’ve cultivated new habits in your romantic relationship. But during your new time alone, you can revisit those old things that used to bring you joy.
If you don’t have any old hobbies you’d like to revisit, perhaps try out some new ones.
Your new free time is a great opportunity to:
- go take interesting classes
- learn a new language
- train for a marathon
- experiment with cooking
- meet up with old friends
- .. or even test out new hobbies.
Don’t be afraid to get to know who you are and what makes you happy, and though you may be tempted to do so, do not skip out on personal time.
If you aren’t strong and self-satisfied by yourself, there is no way you’ll be able to be in a strong relationship.
You’ll Miss Your Partner
Believe it or not, that quote is absolutely true.
We as humans crave things more when they are out of our reach.
You may love spending time with your partner, but spending too much time with them is like drinking poison.
Slowly, but surely, that flame you feel for them will start to go out. In your time apart from each other, you’ll have time to think about your partner, your relationship, and why you love your significant other, which will inevitably make you long for them.
As I said before, don’t give into this longing right away. Allow the longing to build until you guys decide to get together.
My advice is to dial your meetings down to two times a week, at most, until you feel like your relationship is in a stable place.
You’ll Be Able To See The Strength Of Your Relationship
Here is an unfortunate truth: not all relationships can be saved.
Truthfully, if you are taking time apart from your partner that might mean that you and your partner are going through tough times.
Every couple struggles, but what matters most is knowing whether or not your relationship is meant to last for the long haul.
During your time away from your partner, try and analyze how you feel about the possibility of being single.
- If you feel liberated and exhilarated by the idea that might be a sign that your relationship isn’t all that you imagined it to be.
All the same, try and see what distance does for your relationship. If you continue to feel bored in your relationship, then maybe it’s time to break up and move on to someone else.
If you start to miss your partner terribly, that’s wonderful, but keep that distance in place and keep working on improving your personal happiness.
The Truth About Relationship Distance
Realizing you need some distance in your relationship may feel awful in the beginning, but by embracing some time apart from your lover, you’ll be able to gauge for yourself whether or not they are the one for you.
Plus, who doesn’t love some time alone?
Over To You
Now that we’ve reached the bottom, here’s what you can do next:
- What's your opinion on distance? Could or would you do it ?
- Are the type of person who likes time alone from your spouse/partner ?
- What’s one thing that has prevented you having a stale love life ?
And thanks for reading too – I’ll see you in the comments.