Come on, Does It Really Matter?
It is a very valid question.
We guess it all boils down to how much of a traditionalist you are.
If you haven’t yet entered into the 21st Century in your mind, then you may now be sitting there with your mouth wide open; completely aghast at such a suggestion.
In these modern times it is becoming all the more common for the lady to propose.
In many countries around the world there is a tradition that a woman can propose to a man on a day that only occurs once every four years; February 29th.
The whole story behind it is incredibly dated, as are the consequences.
Thought to come from a deal that was struck between St. Bridget and St. Patrick (and lest we forget that these people were alive some two and a half thousand years ago), if a lady was refused marriage upon asking, the gentleman would then have to shower her with gifts to somehow hide the woman’s embarrassment.
He might as well have said yes!
We apologise, but we must treat such a dated tradition with a little bit of humour.
Papa Don’t Preach
Then there is asking the woman’s father for her hand in marriage.
Again, this is a somewhat dated idea but one that is still performed to this very day.
This writer attempted to do exactly that only two years ago, only to be laughed away by prospective fiancee and father alike.
You could surmise that the whole idea of asking a future father-in-law reeks of chauvinism and sexism and you’re probably right.
It is a process that has been dying out over the last few decades and will soon be looked upon as something incredibly archaic. There will be the odd person (not literally) that may see it as quite a sweet gesture however, but it should be noticeable from your significant other’s face when you suggest it, whether or not it is a good idea.
However, there are exceptions to the rule.
In a recent study with students at the somewhat left-wing UC Santa Cruz, not one of the 277 (heterosexual) students who were asked could agree with the idea of a woman asking a man to marry him.
Well that was no doubt a turn up for the books and it seems tradition is still alive and well in some parts.
Doing the Deed
But when it comes down to it, there may still be some women that are fed up of waiting for their prospective husbands to get down on one knee, so here are a few tips as to how you should go about it, if you can’t wait until 2016.
Firstly; and this isn’t meant to sound patronising; be cool.
You may have had visions of this moment going the other way since you were little and a lot of people do. If you’re worried about rejection, dontt be. If the worst comes to the worst then at least you’ll get twelve pairs of gloves or a nice dress (if tradition is to believed!).
Next, use a little bit of common sense. If you’ve been walking around town and he’s been edging you towards bridal stores or jewellers, then there may be a good chance heâ’s thinking the same thing. Not that it should stop you of course and you could have a little psyche-out competition to see who caves in first. It’s all very romantic when you think about it.
Prepare well; if you’re serious about doing this then why not propose to him at one of his favourite places? We’re not suggesting that you hire out the local sports stadium and propose to him in the centre circle or end zone, but maybe somewhere that you both consider a special place. We’ll leave that up to your own imagination.
Lastly, speak from the heart.
If you’re planning on reeling off a long speech, try to keep it brief. It’s probably not every day that he hears this stuff from you and you don’t want him to cotton on to what is happening too soon.
We’re sure you’ll be absolutely fine, and wish you good luck.
All you’ll need to do once you’re engaged is plan the wedding and we’re sure that’ll be a piece of cake in comparison!
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:
- Now come on, is it really fair in this day and age?
- Do you know any woman that’s actually proposed?
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.
7 thoughts on “Why Should He Be The One To Propose – Is It Right?”
I think it all depends on what kind of people you are. If the man is very traditional he might be offended if the woman proposes first.
Another thing to watch out for is that many men feel the need to be ‘in charge’. By proposing you are taking away their leadership.
You also do not want him to feel like he was pushed in marriage. If he feels like that he might end up resenting you later. With some people it is better to let them make the first move so that they will be wholeheartedly enthusiastic about it.
If you are really worried about it why not just talk about marriage openly? Proposals should not be a big shock if you make sure you have open communication.
Being in a relationship can take its toll on women especially if you are in the age of wanting to settle down. The thing with women is they keep on wondering if their relationship with their boyfriend is going in the direction they want. Since men are very soft spoken regarding these topics, you will have to decipher for yourself and check on clues that he wants to propose. Be on the lookout on these 5 clues that he wants to propose.
You know something, Juana?
Guys are exactly the same as women in this area – there’s today’s secret for you :)
Men and women wonder whether they’re on the right path with the other – maybe different thought processes but essentially the same mindset outcomes.
Did you know that?
As a woman, I raelly think that men should be the one proposing. It is manly and really appropriate. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Bah, what exactly is ‘manly’ or ‘appropriate’ about proposing?
In today’s age of supposed equality, how can you possibly argue the point that the guy should be the one proposing?
You really need to explain and I’d love to listen too
I think it is quite the proper thing to do. However, women can definitely do what most guys do-such us proposing. I guess it’s okay for a woman to do it sometimes. But I guess the opportunities should be with men’s. :)
Oh now I’m interested in wondering why you think it’s the proper thing to do, for a guy, Emilia.
What makes it proper, huh?