3 Lessons We Can Learn from Past Relationships

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3 Lessons We Can Learn from Past Relationships

As Many Comedians Like to Say, “Relationships Are Tough.”

That they are; ending them and dealing with the aftermath is no picnic either.

Our romantic relationships impact us in a way that other relationships do not; there are lots of high-intensity emotions involved.

relationships can be very tough

Relationships can be very tough. Can you learn from them?

Our fear of spending our lives alone is often palpable and when a relationship ends, this fear often comes back full force.

Whether you just broke up with your boyfriend or divorced after a long, tumultuous marriage, there are many lessons to be learned; lessons that will not only help you find a better relationship in the future, but improve your life overall.


What We Need to Work on in Ourselves

This first lesson can be a painful one since most of us are not big fans of admitting our faults and how we may have played a role in our failed unions — and by failed, I am not implying you did something wrong; rather, it means that it simply did not work out.

the past can lead to a better future

The past can lead to a better future.

Now, this is not about ripping ourselves apart or trying to become perfect beings since that is not possible.

This is about taking an honest look at how we conducted ourselves in relationships and our general behavior and seeing where there may be room for improvement.

If you are the one who is always getting your heart broken by someone who treats you badly, and you lament there are no good guys out there, maybe it is time to face what is really going on — you have low self-esteem and you believe this is what you deserve.

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Maybe you have been too controlling, judgmental or needy, or perhaps you hold people to impossibly high standards that you probably do not even come close to meeting yourself.


What Type of Partner We Really Want

Our past relationships can give a very revealing picture of the type of person that is right for us.

But, often, it needs to be something we deliberately give some thought to; if not, we will keep dating the same types of people — the wrong people — then say we do not understand why we cannot find a successful relationship.

The fact that this happens to so many people is evidence that we are not taking the time to really give this thought.

But, if you will allow yourself to really ponder your past relationships, you can really gain some wonderful insights into the type of person you really want, the type of person best suited for you.


Who We Are and What We Want Out of Life

The myriad experiences that come with being in a relationship can provide a goldmine of information as far as figuring out more about ourselves and what we want out of life.

Whatever the reasons your past relationships did not work out, at the core is whatever was going on within you and within your partner.

Maybe there was a clash on issues such as lifestyle, ambitions, values or the vision for the future.

If you always got mad at your partner for never wanting to travel or do anything spontaneous, that shows you highly value things like that.

The more you know about yourself, the greater the chances of finding a successful relationship because you will have a strong idea of what you are looking for.


Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • Do you think past relationships help us understand ourselves better, for the future?
  • What have you learnt from a past relationship?
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And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about relationships and personal development; if you are looking for senior dating in Dublin, follow the link to learn more.

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.


  1. wrote on February 5th, 2013 at 4:00 pm


    You have made a very inspiring article. Thank you very much for this one. With past relationships that went awry, you get to eiither grow stronger or get depressed. But nevertheless, when you have moved on uncathed or not limping anymore, it’s okay. You get to discover how strong a person you are in the end.
    Veronica recently posted..New Years Eve Cruise in Sydney 2012 Harbour Fireworks Cruise!My Profile

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on February 5th, 2013 at 6:20 pm


      Wow, interesting comments from you today, Veronica.
      Yeah, I think it’s a bit of relationship evolution actually.
      What would you say about going through a bad partnership experience, then getting into the rather normal depressed state and eventually learning that being in a crap mood isn’t getting you anywhere at all and bouncing back, with a renewed vigor for rediscovering a new you and getting on with getting on?
      Ever been there yourself?
      Martin recently posted..3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was BorneMy Profile

  2. wrote on January 31st, 2013 at 10:32 am


    The ability to recover and be better varies from person to person; I think past relationships help us become a better and stronger person. What I’ve learned from a past relationship is to not make hasty decisions. It made me see what I really want in a potential partner. And the most important thing is, I became more mature. I’m glad I have changed for the better. :)

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