surviving dating a thai woman

How To Survive a Thai Woman On the 1st Date :)

Western men are assumed to be more romantic than Thai guys

Imagine you are about to go on a date with a beautiful Thai woman.

You met her online and you exchanged a couple of messages.

A lot of girls were interested in meeting you, but there’s something about her that motivated you to meet her before all the other girls.

Thinking about her beautiful profile pictures makes you nervous.

Remembering what she said about her attitude towards relationships, marriage and family makes you smile.

You don’t know if she’s the one, but you are sure that she is more than just girlfriend material.

You want to get to know her.

She wants it too.

You are going to meet her in one hour at Siam Paragon in Bangkok.

The only problem is that you are so nervous that you can’t even button your shirt.

You want to make everything right and leave a good impression.

But you don’t know how to do it.

That’s exactly why I decided to share the following 10 survival tips for your first date with a Thai woman with you.

treat your Thai lady rght


Study the Thai Culture Before Your First Date

This is extremely important.

The Thai culture is very different than any Western culture, especially when it comes to dating.

I promise you that the dating etiquette you enjoy back home is pretty different than what awaits you in Thailand.

There are certain things that are completely normal in the West that have the potential to freak out a Thai girl.

You want to know what these things are, believe me.

You don’t want to freak her out because you thought that it’s cute to touch her hair.

It might sound weird, but touching her hair in public will make her extremely uncomfortable.

Don't touch the hair!
Don’t touch the hair!


Don’t Meet Her in the “Farang Uniform”

“What’s the Farang Uniform?” you ask.

The Farang Uniform consists of two pieces of clothes, the tank top, and the short trousers.

About 95% of Western men in Thailand walk around like that. But that doesn’t mean that you have to copy their style.

This style can easily mean the end of your date, especially when you are dating a high society girl in Bangkok.

You are in a metropolitan city and not in a holiday resort.

It’s time to dress appropriately.


Greet Her in the Traditional Way

Thai people don’t shake hands as we do in the West.

They have their own greeting, the wai. In case you’ve never heard of this greeting, you can find out more about it here.

What do people in the West do when they meet for a date?

We hug each other or we give each other a kiss on the cheek.

If you do this with a Thai girl, especially when she has never been on a date with a foreigner, she will be very confused.

It’s better to respect the local customs and to greet her the traditional way.


Don’t Take Her to an Expensive Restaurant

You want to date a Thai woman who loves you and not your wallet, right?

Then set the right tone from the beginning.

Let her know that you really want to get to know her and that you are not one of these guys who are looking for a girl they can sponsor.

The best way to do this is by taking her for a romantic walk in the park, instead of going to an expensive restaurant.


Avoid Eating With Chopsticks

In case it’s raining and a walk in the park would be a horrible disaster, you can of course take her to a normal café, bar or restaurant.

Just don’t try to impress her with your non-existent chopstick skills.

Only use them if you can actually eat with them.

You don’t want to show her that you eat like a five-year-old child by throwing your noodles left and right on the table.


Ask Her Questions about the Thai Culture

The easiest and most fun way to connect with a Thai woman is by asking her questions about Thai culture.

This shows that you are interested in getting to know her and her country.

Unfortunately, many foreigners don’t give a damn about Thai culture.

She doesn’t want to date such a guy.

Making her comfortable around you will be a lot easier when she knows that you are a man who is interested in finding out more about her culture.

The beauty of Thai culture
The beauty of Thai culture


Give Her Compliments

It’s always difficult to say if giving women compliments works to your benefit or if it makes you appear needy, especially when you are dating women in the West.

You don’t have to worry about this when you meet traditional Thai women.

One reason why Thai women prefer to date Western men is that they assume that they are more romantic than Thai guys.

I honestly don’t know if we are more romantic, but that’s what a lot of girls believe.

In other words, give her as many compliments as you want.

I promise you that she will smile and giggle. She’ll love it when you say “Khun suay maak” (you are very beautiful) to her.


Respect If She Can’t Come Back to Your Place

I know what you want to do at the end of the date.

You want to invite her to your place and “watch a movie”.

This can work, at least sometimes. But in case you are dating a really traditional Thai girl, she might not be able to go back to your place because her parents are very strict.

This doesn’t usually happen when you are dating a girl in your home country, but it can happen when you are dating a girl in Thailand.

And it can happen quite often.

Don’t let this discourage you.

Just schedule your next date a bit earlier and you won’t have to deal with this problem anymore.


Don’t Even Think About Kissing Her in Public

What do you usually do at the end of a date, no matter if you take her home or if you say goodbye at the bus stop?

You go for the kiss.

Yep, that’s what you normally do, but it’s not what you should do when you are in Thailand. Thai people don’t show affection in public.

Kissing a woman in a public environment is a no-go.

Don’t even think about going for the kiss unless you are in a private environment.

Wait until you are back at your place, even if you have to wait for the second date.


Plan Your Second Date

Even though kissing in public is a clear no-go, she wants to know if you are interested in her or not. Let her know.

Tell her that you want to see her again.

Just because her parents are so strict that she won’t go back to your place doesn’t mean that you can’t set up your second date.

If she likes you, she’ll agree to meet you the next day.

This time she will come back to your place.


What’s Your Opinion?

  • What’s been your ups and downs with Thai women?
  • Do you think the first date is different with Thai girls than Western women?
  • Click a Share button – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

Tell us your thoughts, in the comments below.

10 Survival Tips For Your First Date With a Thai Woman 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

27 thoughts on “10 Survival Tips For Your First Date With a Thai Woman”
  1. So I have an odd question. How is geek/nerd culture in thialand? Will thai girls date nerds?

    I’m 40 and I’ve always struggled with relationahips. I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs. I don’t like loud night clubs or bar hopping. When I was younger I worked, went to school, and girls wanted nothing to do with me. Over the years… not much has changed. I’ve been told my biggest problem is I am boring. I work, I like to come home and snuggle up with my girlfriend and watch anime or Sci if or play video games or play a board game. I don’t mind going out once in a while but I’m just a gamer nerd at heart.

    I try to treat women right. I’m respectful and loyal. I make ok money and I don’t mind paying all the bills. I don’t even mind helping with the cooking and cleaning. I make accoutant money so I have a nice little house 1000sqft with some land paid off, I buy used cars for cash when I need to, and I take my vacations to visit my parents and got to comicon a few times per year. So not rich but not poor. I can give her a solid middle class life in the US, maybe even help her family a bit, but I’m just a book keeper not a doctor or lawyer.

    The geek scene has been growing in the USA. That makes me happy and a little sad. When I started going to comicon when I was a teen, it was mostly a lot of nerds selling old comics and toys to each other. I was mocked and told stuff like “you need to grow up and stop all that kids stuff and come hang out at the bar.” Today I no longer wince went I put in vacation request for comicon. It is full of people and some of the cosplay girls are smoking hot… but they are all so young. Some have talked to me but no… they won’t date someone as old as their dad. So although my interests are finally acceptable I can’t find love at comicon.. I’m too old now.

    I have heard all kinds of stories about thialand and thai girls. I’ve heard of drop dead hot teen dating 60+ year old fat guys. Ive heard of sweet loving submissive perfect wife and crazy bar girls. I’ve heard that girls lovingly taking care of their man and also of Thai girls stealing anything that’s not nailed down. I’m just tried of the date scene here. I’m sick of women my age as either land whales or “ex” party girls looking for a dad to their 6 kids with 5 different dead beat guys. I just would like to date a girl that looks good in a swim suit, won’t cheat with every bay boy in town when I’m at work, won’t withhold sex as a weapon “the above ground pool is not good enough I want an in ground pool” (yes this really happened), and is geeky enough to play a video game or board game with me when I get home from work. Big bonus points is she will dress up in costume and come to comicon with me.

    I guess my question is what do Thai girls think of “boring” geek types. Do you have to be able to support the whole family while not working because you should be rich or do Thai girls realize western men have to go to work too? I guess I wonder if I should look to thailand for my beautiful geeky princess or if it’s still the jocks that rule the world.

  2. It’s disgusting how you talk about these women. Are you trying to meet an actual human being and connect with someone? I especially love the advice where you tell the guy not to get fixated on the first girl he meets because there are millions more where that one came from. Or my favourite…
    “Don’t get pushed around by the pussy.”
    You know that these are people right!? Maybe he actually had a connection with the “first one”. They aren’t cattle!

    Are you searching for some dominance you’ve clearly lacked your entire life!? Ugh, you guys sound creepy as fuck!

    1. You’re obviously a feminist who gets twisted out of shape at the mention of the truth. I seriously doubt you’ve ever lived in Thailand and would not understand the differences in the country, culture or behavior of other people.

      I’m glad you liked the quote ‘Don’t get pushed around by the pussy’ – sounds exactly like what you’re trying to do now with this comment.

      I’m aware Thai girls aren’t cattle and are people. I’m also aware many of them have their own agendas which sometimes don’t include relationships – hence this article.

      Thanks anyway for speaking your mind, as uninformed as it might be

  3. I’ve also read online that if we go to the UK via Germany it is easier for her to be resident in the UK. I’ve read She will get EU visa in Germany for a few years, if we are married (I think visa last 3 years),she will have to renew the visa.
    After that she would have lived in the UK for 5 years and could apply for UK passport? We would have to get married in Thailand, I’d then have to set up in Germany for a month as I would have to have a address in Germany for her to apply for visa, then meet or collect her from Thailand. ? 3/3.

  4. I’m sorry I if I am was blunt in my message, I’ve been awake thinking about it for 2 night now. You advise would be greatly appreciated. ?

  5. What are the chances of a relationship with a Thai woman that wants, in her word “take care of me”. I’m assuming it’s going to involve money.
    The woman works full time, but is going freelance 3-4 times a month, in her words “ I have to send money to mom for my sisters education”.
    Now 3-4 time is 4-5k a month (£100-£130). Is it the right thing to do giving her the 4-5k so she has the opportunity to stop going freelance.
    Or should I let her continue earn her own money.
    I am not the jealous type, so long as there no feeling and a condom is used it just sex/fun/work to me.
    I just don’t like the thought of sending her money each month, as it will feel I am paying for her to see me.
    I kind of wish we hadn’t become so close and maybe just stayed friends, I would have no trouble sending her the money as a friend.
    I believe I could fall for this woman, but have read a lot of men do send money to Thai women and it seems to always end badly.
    She also says she wants to get married and move to the UK with me.
    I’m not sure wether to send her the money, but if she starts asking for more stop the relationship. Or just let her be until I can get her to the UK.

    1. Always a good question when it comes to Thai women & money.

      To start, anything involving any woman is going to involve money, in some way. That’s just life and how things work.

      And, yes, a great many Thai people send money to their parents. Thats the culture in Thailand, especially since there’s no old age pension.

      BUT if you’re not living with this Thai girl and only in some oversseas Skype-type relationship, then the chances are very high you’re being used. Many freelancers in Thailand know the hold they have over foreign men and use that magic to extract what they need.

      Now this girl may well be very different too BUT the golden rule is NEVER send money to Thai girl you’re not living with. She’s probably got 10 guys just like you, sending her money.

  6. Like reading your advice Martin and thanks.
    Well I’m on my first date with a beautiful Thai girl in Australia but don’t know where to take her for lunch or what she would like to see around the town. She seems a little shy as she lets me lead the conversation and does not smile much. There is so much contradiction when reading about aThai girls and their behaviour I don’t know what to believe. As I’m dating her today I won’t receive your advice in time so I will follow my instincts.

  7. I just want to know if this Thai gal was into me.

    Brought her back to my room. We had some banter back and fourth then when we were on the bed she turned into an animal. Bit my tongue and I winced. She realized that she lost control and apologized. We went back at it and it got a bit loud. At one point she was on top of me with her fingernails stuck deeply in my pecs. It left bruises. When we were done she snuggled on my shoulder. Then as we were snuggled next to each other we could not resist escalating to round 2. When that was over she snuggled next to me but then fell asleep and started snoring. I tapped her until she woke up so as to stop snoring. I think she got offended and moved to the other side of the bed. She did not want a 3rd round. When it was time for her to go she got up and went to the bathroom. I got up and asked for her number. She gave it to me then asked me to call her phone. I called her phone and she thanked me. Then she said “I like you” I was still in a bit of a stupor given what had gone down so I did not respond. She said I did not have to walk her down and then gave me a big formal bow(Wai). I opened the door and let her out she looked around and then looked at me and said (what way?). I just pointed and she looked at me and walked.. I felt so guilty and wonder if I offended her. I have sent 4 texts but she has not replied. Is there anyway to get her back? Was she into me? I never realized how great Thai women are.

    1. Understand there’s always a language barrier or difficulty between you and Thailand and that takes time to sort out.
      You’re not going to know the extent of her attraction for you until you get the 2nd (and more) meetings happening so call her instead of texting her.
      If nothing eventuates from that then drop it and move on to the next one, of which there are millions.
      Don’t get fixated on the first.

  8. If you are seriously interested in meeting and dating Thai women, you should meet with them online first. I had great luck with Thaicupid and other asian dating apps. Find a nice Thai lady that will be waiting for you at the airport in Bkk..who has transportation arranged for you and is your own personal tour guide.
    You will have a great time if you choose the right girl.
    What you should be looking for in a Thai woman:
    1. Important that she speaks English to some degree. Video chat with her at sometime because she could be using a English translating app when you are messaging her.
    2. Try to choose a woman that has gone to university and has a good job. Of course you will be paying for most things on a date but she wont be constantly asking you for money for rent…internet…her sick dog. Lol
    3. Try to not going for the super hot one. Start with a Thai lady that is pretty and sweet. The super hot ones can be very vain and demanding. I dated a hot Thai nurse from Bkk. Her vanity was overwhelming.
    Tips for you when you are dating Thai:
    1. Always smell good and look good. Be prepared to shower twice a day and always wear cologne. You don’t have to be handsome…just take care of yourself
    2. Be prepared financially. They will want a romantic adventure with you on some Thai island. Overall things are cheap in Thailand….but you still dont want to look cheap
    3. Respect Thai culture. Dont look down on their way of life. They are very proud of being Thai.
    I could have many more suggestions…but these popped into my head.
    I live in the USA and I have gone to Thailand 6 times and dated 4 different women. The last one I married and shes living in the USA with me. We are hoping to retire to Thailand together in 10 years.
    Good luck everyone!

  9. I meet a lady on thaicupid . when we first started to talk I told her I though she was to young. But we shared off and on over the months (4 or 5) before I was ready to go to Thailand she is 56 and I am 67 . after talking with her over the months I changed my mind about the age difference. She arranged for a room for me near where she lives.she picks me up at the airport and dropped me of at the motel and said to meet her at 6 o’clock in front. She came at 6 and said we will go get her daughter and go for dinner.
    We had a wonderful dinner she insisted on getting the check. We all visited until around 10 then that brought me back to the motel she was in the back and I was in the front.we said our goodbyes and she said she would pick Me up the next day and we would go to a Temple. The next day she came and we went to get her son to go the Temple with us. I was in the front this time also and she in the back. Her children acted as interpretors for us and I used a app on my phone. This went on for the week I was there. We did not kiss she said she was old-fashioned Thai. That she likes me and we will have to go by old Thai traditional ways. When I go back what’s the proper way to date her? I believe that a kiss tells a great deal about compatibility. I don’t like kissing bricks. As for wealth we have told one other we are conferrable but not wealthy. I really like this lady and want to known her. after I go back what steps should I take to get that first Kiss to go with the Old Thai traditional ways?

    1. honestly there is no age difference – it’s only 11 years and that difference is nothing in Asian counties.
      she’s also well past her prime and already has children. I’d dare say she’s probably shy and using the ‘old fashioned Thai’ thing as an excuse for the shyness. ‘Losing face’ is big in Asian especially in Thailand.
      Can i suggest your next step is to simply explain as best you can that you need some intimacy time to make sure you are compatiable in that area. Explain it is important to you personally, important for all men and an important part of your Western culture (which she must also respect).
      If she isn;t good at English which I’m guessing she probbly isn’t, then the explaining is going to take a while for her to understand. Presumably you’re now outside Thailand so you should be able to take some time and explain on Line or Skype or whatever you’re using.
      and for goodness sake, take charge of the situation. There are plenty of other ladies her age that are dying to meet you and form a relationship in Thailand. She is only one of them.

  10. Hi Martin …good advice..Got any tips please …I have never been to Thailand but I have met a couple of Thai women and I find them absolutely attractive… is there any dating sites you can recommend. .. or maybe someone on the ground and Thailand that could look for me… keep up the good work mate cheers

  11. Last week i met five ladies in Bangkok. All were good looking, nice dressed, well educted and very good position at work.
    All the meetings were fine. As by the book. I behaved very good. Just before the end of the date, i asked to meet again.
    They all agreed with one condition : We shall use the emotion way or having sex after getting married or at least to have her family’s permition for a life partners.
    So there was a second date.

    Did I made any mistake?

    1. Hmm well I’ve lived in Bangkok for 4 years or so and have never had that thrust upon me.
      that’s not to say it doesn’t happen as you’ve obviously witnessed firsthand.

      But the first mistake was asking for a 2nd date while at the first one.
      As a general rule of thumb, the first date should be just to meet for a coffee and a chat. no more than an hour as well.
      Wrap it up and thank her for her time and say your enjoyed your time together and then leave.
      — you left her thinking and she has doesn’t have the upper hand to make any demands.
      — I presume you initially made contact on Line, Skype or Whatsapp. If you did, contact her again in a few days

      To put it bluntly, you should be sexually involved after the 2nd or 3rd date. If she insists on the draconian ‘sex after marriage’ ploy, end it then and there and find another lady. There’s plenty of them. Don’t get pushed around by the pussy.

  12. Very, Very true! To show an affectionate appearance with her in public, makes her look like a common whore. Respect and honor reins supreme in at lest one country nowadays.

  13. So…be patient and there is some kinda certainty you will be able to ‘watch a movie’ on the second date? That’s pretty amazing. I’m over 60, happily married and retired in the Philippines to a woman my own age, but if I sought out a new Asian wife, I can’t imagine hooking up seriously with someone say…less than 40. Anyway, this is an interesting subset culture…men looking for live overseas…

    1. Really? I’m 59 and my girlfriend of 9 months is 30 – what’s the problem if both are happy?
      And it’s great you’re happily married too

    1. How to become the center of a Thai woman’s life? I don’t want to be involved with a country chicken, or. a woman who is a slave to her boss or a family. I seek husband centric partnership from commitment and desires to security and finances..

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