Get Back With an Ex?
Reuniting with a lost love can seem more comfortable than meeting someone else for the first time.
Unlike new relationships, old issues may get in the way though.
Was the breakup caused by:
- parental disapproval
Depending on the circumstances of your breakup, reuniting with a past love could be an exciting or nerve-wracking experience.
How do you make a connection?
What do you talk about?
To make the relationship work the second time around, follow these steps.
Years ago, finding someone from your past was a daunting experience. You had to track your ex’s activities from common friends, visit your hometown, or attend high school reunions just to get an idea on where he or she is.
Nowadays, finding past loves is much easier.
2. Establish a connection
You should only do this if you are comfortable and ready. Give her a call, send her an email, write her a letter, or message her through a social media site – whatever method feels comfortable to you.
Be sincere and honest in your approach.
Once you have agreed to meet, plan on a location where you both feel comfortable.
Your “first” get-together should be low key and relaxed so as not to overwhelm the situation.
- Instead of spending the entire day together, opt for a shorter meeting.
- You can grab a cup of coffee at a neighborhood cafe, for instance.
- Or you can meet at a bar for drinks.
One of the most difficult aspects of meeting an old flame is what to talk about.
It may be initially intimidating and awkward, especially if you haven’t seen each other in years.
To keep things flow smoothly, here are a few conversation ideas:
- Talk about your life
- what do you do for a living, where you’ve been after you last met, hobbies
- Ask about your partner’s life
- what has she been up to all these years
- Reminisce on fond memories
- talk about prom night
- or other happy memories shared in the past for a sense of familiarity
- Avoid offensive topics
- Refrain from revisiting the drama of the past.
- Speak and listen as if you’re getting to know her for the first time
- Discover common interests
- talk about the latest movies you’ve seen, books you’ve read, or places you’ve been
5. Start Fresh
Don’t hold on to what happened in the past. If he cheated on you when you were 18, it doesn’t mean he’ll cheat on you at 35.
Start fresh, no matter what happened in the past.
- Do not overanalyze mistakes or reasons that led to the initial breakup.
- Approach the situation with the same attitude as you would a new relationship.
- After a first meeting or two, things will begin to flow.
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