After losing your wife, the idea of dating again might seem impossible.

The years you’ve spent investing in the relationship has now come to an end.

But this doesn’t mean you cannot find love again.

Will it be the same love as before? Of course not, no two loves are the same, and that’s okay.

Whether you’re looking to jump into the dating pool right away or have taken some time on your own, one thing is clear: you’re now interested in meeting someone new.

Everyone deserves to find happiness, whether it’s with you choosing to be with someone or not.

But if you’re looking for a partner, here are five helpful tips for widows and widowers dating.

widower looking out window and sad

Be honest with yourself

Sometimes, we push ourselves to do things when we’re not ready.

If you do not feel like you’re able to date other women, then don’t push yourself.

There’s no timeline when it comes to dating.

Plus, if you go into it too quickly, you can also end up non-intentionally hurting the women you meet.

So, before choosing to date, ask yourself if you’re ready to move on.

They don’t need to be the one

Of course, you want to find someone to spend your time with.

But dating isn’t so easy.

You’re going to go on a lot of dates with different women.

You haven’t dated in years, so it’ll take time until you’re comfortable dating again.

You may meet someone you enjoy spending time with, but you don’t see them as a long-term partner.

And that’s okay.

Your first relationship after marriage doesn’t need to be a serious one.

Transitional relationships are also a lot of fun and allow you to ease into it.

Don’t hide anything

There’s no point pretending you didn’t have a partner for the past twenty years.

Being honest with your dates about your past is important.

This doesn’t mean you need to talk about it for hours on end with them, but they should know who you are.

Naturally, the loss of your wife impacted your life, so it’s essential they understand your background.

Plus, we live in the 21st century, they’ll find out sooner or later.

don't hide yourself away quote

Your date isn’t your therapist

Losing your spouse is no laughing matter.

It’s traumatic and painful.

This is why it’s important you ask yourself if you’re ready to date.

Yes, you’re going to bring up your wife during a date, but it shouldn’t turn into a therapy session.

If you’re struggling with moving on, then perhaps pull back from dating and focus on self-care.

Ask your dates about the future

What does your date want in life?

What are their goals and aspirations? You’re not twenty-years-old, you’re older, more mature.

So, you know what you want in life, and you know where you want to be in ten years.

There’s no point wasting you and your date’s time if you both aren’t looking for the same things. For example, do they want to travel when they retire?

These questions are crucial.

You cannot replace the relationship you had with your wife.

As we said, no two loves are the same.

But understand that if and when you decide to start dating, it’s totally possible to enter a healthy and happy relationship.

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An aging Yank living in Seattle, Washington.

Gary – who has written posts on GeekandJock.