friends can have benefits

You Can Leave Home Without Them

Having a ‘friend for benefits’ is very appealing to a lot of men and women.

Fuck buddy relationships have the potential to go very wrong and often aren’t all that successful.

When people are involved, you are dealing with real emotions and expectations.

Some might say that a true ‘no strings sex relationship’ is impossible.

fuck buddy friends with benefits
And for some, that’s all they want … hence the term

If you’re looking for a fuck buddy what you’re really looking for at its very core is a mutually beneficial relationship at its simplest level.

Men are very different to women and can perhaps distance themselves from the relationship easier than women. You should enter this type of relationship knowing that potentially it could become very complicated.

Luckily there are a few simple rules you can follow to try and make sure your ‘friend with sexual benefits‘ relationship stays on track.


Open Up

You must talk openly from the outset about what you want from the relationship.

Ground rules are essential but they’re also worthless if you don’t stick to them.

It could be tempting to suggest you like the person in an emotional way in order to get what you want but you should avoid that at all costs.


Buddy Respect

You’ll need to treat your fuck buddy with respect.

If you’re not feeling it one day then don’t just ignore their texts or calls. Just politely reply saying ‘no thanks’ in order to keep the relationship healthy.

They might just be your friendly sexual playmate but you should still treat them how you would want to be treated yourself.


Be Specific

Crystal clear communication is essential.

You need to be really specific and make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to issues that could cause problems.

So are you going to be allowed to have other sex-only friends and how regularly are you looking to meet?


Come Clean (Pun Intended)

Come clean if you’re starting to have feelings for your fuck buddy.

It can be tempting just to carry on if emotions are involved and you’re starting to really like them but it will only end in tears.

The other person may feel completely differently to you so you need to be upfront.


Trust The Gut

Trust your instinct.

If the relationship doesn’t feel right or has changed then it may be time to get out.

Your partner may not tell you if their feelings have changed so use your judgement and if you feel it’s getting out of hand then move on.


Timing is Everything

‘Booty Call’s’ are not cool.

It’s not realistic to expect your partner to drop everything when you are in the mood.

You need to respect that they have their own life and not get frustrated or angry if they can’t accommodate your every need.


Be a nice person and be as amicable as possible.

A Fuck Buddy Doesn’t Give Flowers

Don’t expect gifts.

A fuck buddy relationship is not about showering each other with flowers and gifts on birthdays or special occasions.

Keep your relationship as simple as possible.

Gifts will only confuse the issue leading you to believe that perhaps the person likes you more than they’re letting on.


Don’t Blab Either

Don’t give too much personal information away.

There’s not need to convey your life story to your fuck buddy. In fact the more they know about you the more opportunity you’re giving them to judge you in some way.

Plus if it all goes wrong and they know all about you you’re giving them the opportunity to use that knowledge against you.


So Is This The Beginning?

Some simple tips to ensure your fuck buddy relationship is a healthy one.

If you both understand the basic principles then you have a much better chance of success.


Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • Could you come this clean and make one a success?
  • What reservations do you have?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

A Successful Fuck Buddy Relationship - 8 Top Tips 1

Sam writes for Top 10 Dating Reviews a fuck buddy and dating review website. For great dating info and advice follow @Top10DatingUK.

Top 10 Dating – Sam – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

23 thoughts on “A Successful Fuck Buddy Relationship – 8 Top Tips”
  1. Hi, I met someone 3 years ago we became friends but we weren’t close until recently we started flirting and he has asked me to visit him I know he’s involved with someone and he knows I am too…I don’t want to be emotionally attached to him I just want to play how do I keep my mind away from seeing him as my future husband (the impossible) the conversations we have ate too deep and he just sweeps me of my feet but I don’t want to get hurt because I know he’s with someone

    1. Well I see you’ve got 2 choices here
      [1] you both end your current relationships and move away from your current fuck buddy situation
      [2] You end the fuck buddy situation altogether so your mind isn’t so confused

  2. Just need to vent here a bit. I’m older than my fuck buddy, definitely A LOT more experienced. Laid out all ground rules over text – in writing – so it’s all recorded. Next thing I know he’s trying to play it cool or something, and takes 1 or 2 days to get back to me whereas before he was really responsive. Then he stood me up. That’s all so wrong, so I’m out. I’m probably the coolest, most open-minded person, too, so the experience has been just annoying. The sex was great, so it’s a real shame.

    You’ll need a pair to be a fuck buddy. Grow up if you want to play with the big boys.

  3. Hi, I have been in with my fuck buddy for over 10years now. When we met i was honest about my current relationship and he claimed he was single. We met 2008 and 2009 he was arrested, served 4years. I didnt even know that he was arrested. We lost contact. When he was released 2013, he looked for me until he found me. That’s when he told me he was in prison. At that time I was single. We continued where we left of. However I started to develop feelings for him. He told me he was in a complicated relationship. We continued being fuck buddies, I later found out he just got married and the wife was pregnant at that time. I confronted him about that. He told me he love his family but he also can’t stop seeing me. Our chemistry is magical and I don’t want to give him up. But the thought of letting him go it hurt. What should I do in this situation. How do I turn off the feelings I have for him.

  4. I’ve had a fuck buddy for the past 9 months on and off. I’m in a relationship which he knows about at least we had communication every other day. Got caught by my partner and he backed off for about a month contacted me again and we started again. It was like that for about 3 months next thing I know he goes unfriends me from social media I notice asked him why and he says he was working things out with this ex. I left it alone made up my mind it was over and should leave it alone. Again a month later he contacts me to have sex again. And since then we have been getting together at least once a month. The problem is that I might have developed feelings months ago. We have made it clear in the last couple of weeks we are just fuck buddies and I was ok with it knowing that I have really strong feelings for him and I know it’s not the same for him.

    1. well, a fuck buddy should always be on a ‘sex only’ basis which you already know.
      developing feelings for him is taking that arrangement to a different level which ultimately will impact on your current real realtionship.
      You need to take that into consideration and decide whether to end the fuck buddy and find another one who you can hold at a distance.

  5. Hey ?. So I’m busy with a messy divorce, one where I hated even the thought of having sex. Now I’m alone and recently met someone, younger, but I am not ready for a relationship but am definitely ready for the others bits…. How do I tell this guy and how do I keep it as casual as possible, we have been texting for a while now, that’s it.

    1. basically what you just said ‘hey i really like you. at the moment lets keep it casual as i’m going through a messy divorce. i am ready for the other bit though .. wink..’
      job done :)

  6. I’ve been sleeping with the hottest fittest man in my area, I never thought I would ever have the pleasure of even talking to him let alone anything else. We both agreed that it was just sex and then he stereo just turning up at my house to say hi and have a chat he stopped by to show me his outfit before going out. He shows me the clothes and stuff he has bought when he been ahopping and we text loads and it gets very steamy. When we are together we are ace together and we talk about different things He has said that I could stay over at his and he would cook for me too. All of a sudden he has stopped everything even calling me babe. We have worked out out together and he has stood so close to me that I’ve felt his bits on my bum. He have had Sex in the gym and outdoors too. We both have kids and he works shifts I work part time so have more time on my hands than he does. I kinda feel like I’ve bothered him far too much about meeting up all the time and now I’ve caught feelings for the bloke.

    1. sounds to me that it might be mutual.
      in some way you need to verbalise what you’re thinking to discover what he’s thinking or you’ll continue going in circles inside your head.
      it’s OK to continue your fuckbuddy scenario and it’s ok to try something more. just go slow and revert back if it’s not working as you’d both like it to.
      Good luck too

  7. So I started a FWB relationship about 6mos ago. The only thing that both of us wanted at the time was sex and only sex. Since this started, we talk every day, sometimes for hours at a time. We’ve went to the movies, out to eat and have spent time with each other’s children. Needless to say…feelings (on my side) became involved. Recently he told me that we needed to back off a little because he didn’t want a “relationship” and that was what this felt like. Reluctantly, I agreed. The next day he texted and called several times, I ignored all of the above. Finally after a day or so of this I decided to answer him. Now…back to talking every day, hours at a time. Then I get the text that “the front door is unlocked if you want to stop” and I did. Now it is back to the same as before. Kissing, cuddling, sex, hanging out. Please help me figure this one out!!!

  8. Advice please. I am 40, female, and just started having sex with a guy I met with my husband’s consent.

    After 3 “dates with him trying to.have sex I finally caved in and did it. He knew that my husband knew about us and was perplexed. I did have rules for example no b******* and condoms always.

    A week ago we had very rough sex and I called him the next day asking if he remember what he did to me as he left a mark on my body. he said yes and he was annoyed since I think too much about it and plus my reaction was that I obviously liked it since I did not stop anything. He did mention that next time we’re going to do it again and he abruptly got off the phone because he had to go.

    Ironically all the three times I have had done it with him I was bleeding and I messed up his sheets and a few of his undershirts. So I mailed him the items and haven’t heard a word.

    I haven’t heard from him in over a week which is not long but I am afraid to initiate as will I look weak? I do want to see him again but fear of getting rejected. One side of me says what’s the harm if I ask just be prepared to be rejected?

    I communicate too much sometimes I I did tell him it will suck when the rejection time comes because I did like him more than I wanted to. He knows that I love my husband and plant to grow old with him I just needed some desires outside of our marriage.

    Is it better if I do plan to initiate just ask him for his availability as if all ok or do I ask him if this is still going on which I assumed would be even more annoying.

    Like many women we think too much and just want answers!

  9. I started to see a man who at the start stated he wanted to date go on dates and be intimate. That he wanted to date women nearer as he use to date women from afar. Then through some time he changed to he wanted to just be fuck buddies ans was not interested in any sort of relation with me due to the fact he wants marriage and children but not with me as I have already got children. So he stated the ball was in my court if I wanted to continue seeing him knowing he wanted nothing with me and that one day he would meet mrs right and go off. So I stated that fine. So we talked on a daily basis normal chit chat then all of a sudden he kept making statements like it’s not serious you know even tho I had not anyway suggested it was. Then he kept taking conversations in a negative way and then the last time we were talking pillow talk we were having fun then all of a sudden he changed and stated that I was opposing things on him stating sec is not everything and stated we maybe should not see each other again as I am taking it to serious. I had not in anyway made any serious suggestions to him and I had was talking in a manner of just fun nothing more. He then spoke quite rudely towards me then I never heard from him again. He made out I was a problem and that I was expecting something serious in his mind he thought I had but I hardly see him and I told him I would allow him to message me first and put in what he wanted to put in. So he would message me first during the day and ask how I was ask what I had been up too etc. I am confused to what I could have done why different as I had not in anyway seen us or acted as if we were serious. I was talking just in naughty fun as a buddie would?

    1. Sounds like the guy has something else going on in his life, making him a little weird.
      At the end of the day if his behaviour is not to your liking then simply drop him and find another fuckbuddy or boyfriend – whichever is more suitable to your current needs.
      You don’t need (nor anyone else for that matter) someone who’d playing mind games.
      Make a choice and move forward

  10. I’ve had an duck buddy for over a year now and we only fuck each other and have pillow talk. We call eachother babe. It can be a little hard for me to talk to him about other girls. Also the fact we are very close sexually and kissing is like something he loves to do with me. I don’t know how to keep this going. Has anyone been in the same situation or advice?

    1. well from what you say you want something more than a fuckbuddy which is nearly always the route for a woman in this situation.
      if this arrangement for him is just a fuckbuddy and that’s all he’s wanting then you’ve got to make your own hard decision as to continue or stop it – presumably you’re wanting something more.

      You could mention the idea of moving to boyfriend / girlfriend, though that has it’s own set of potential dangers.

      1. Hi.
        So I had a girlfriend. We’ve been together for half year but a few weeks ago she broke up with me. She said she doesn’t love me anymore but she still cares for me. She said I’ve done nothing wrong but i felt the problem (I think) was that I lost my attention a bit. After the brake up we spoke almost nothing 3 weeks though but now we met and we cleared that we gonna be fuck buddies. The rules are simple. No friendship, no hang out, just sex. If one of us find someone else then it’s over. But I still love her ofc I attempt to do as we agreed but for me it’s really hard just not to speak with her. Not to call her or see her. We just meet up and fuck. I got that from some of my friends it’s not worth having sex with my ex and yes I can understand why.. I’m a sensitive type man which can be annoying for the other person I know.. I’m careful with that, I was since the beginning. Should I continue this? Or can I expect her back? I really don’t know what should I do. I never was situation like this before and I still am confused a bit if she feels something or not.. when she touches me or speaks with me I can feel that she still has feelings but her actions shows me differently. Of course I’m really careful not to show love forwards her.. any good words?

        1. the good words are to simply stop contact with her altogether which includes fucking her.
          you’re just making it harder on yourself. You need to move on and find someone. fucking her stops you doing that.
          and you’re not fuckbuddies when you still have feelings for her – you really do need to stop and get on with your life.

  11. My fuck buddy after five months i know his ex fuck buddy bk in conntact wit him i can tell by wen he online im not in lovve wit hhim just rejecction fuckkking hurts an makes me question me am i.not good enough i feel shit sex wss so good imm gutted he best i had i met him on a site i hdbeen witout sex for years my choice he turned me on an gave me naughty sex ect idont want to lose him bt last 3 dayz he changed re messages talk ect an i started noticing he online wen his ex fuck buddy b on line i saw it as a challenge to mke me feel good wen started i wanted to last longer than her an i didnt ive took a hit if he dont end it i have too one morning of checking wen he online making me feel shit i wont know till he at wrrk tonight an i can message him yeah he married as well i didnt know i feel such a twat yeah im hurt cos i feel summit wrong wit me now ffs i didnt sign up for this u have nl idea things we did an i did everything he told me an i.mde him laugh an km a girl who footie nuts im Arsenal ffs pls offer any advise an not on my team choice i probably get enough of that tonight ??

  12. I think it is more of a want for meaningless sex or a need to feel wanted without any emotions or judgment. Personally I just like sex and don’t want a relationship at the moment

  13. Well, this article is certainly straight forward. Good points, but I would’ve liked to see a “Why?” someone may be looking for a friend’s with benefits. Perhaps someone is married, perhaps they travel a lot…

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