Get Ready, Get Set, GO!
Like many older guys, I went through a divorce and did some serious soul searching afterwards.
12 months of it, combined with lots (and I mean heaps) of research into relationships and the female identity.
I was adamant my next serious relationship was going to be a winner on all the fronts I failed in the last time.
Here’s my list on the major areas guys need to have in place before embarking on a seriously permanent and healthy relationship.
Etch these five main relationship tips into your brain and you’ll be ready to tackle the world!
Your Own Life
Women instinctively desire security and safety.
One of those primeval characteristics in our lovely women.
If they’re going to ‘mate’ and raise children in the cave with the dangers of woolly mammoths running around outside, their caveman needs to have confidence, strength and who they are and what they’re on about in life.
Do you?
Be Emotionally Stable
When we go through some of life’s shit, often it takes time to get over it.
Previous relationship break-ups do certainly cause emotional turmoil in all us – yeah, it’s OK to admit you’ve had some tears over a previous girlfriend – you’re human.
What will cause the next lot of relationship problems is if you’re going through that previous baggage.
“Emotional cleansing must finish before your next partner comes into your life.”
Confidence
The same applies in the reverse. A confident person is always an attractive and desirable proposition to a prospective mate.
And I totally get that a lot of guys in this day and age have been through a few bombshells with ladies as well as having the confidence wrecked by today’s confusion in what a man and a woman are suppose to be.
Certainly look inside yourself and determine the things that bring you a lack of self confidence as well. Once you have some, actively work on them. As an example, if you don’t really like the colour of your teeth, go out and get them whitened.
There’s always an action plan on anything – be pro-active!
Here’s a few simple hints I use to use to quell those butterflies in the pit of your stomach:
“Fake it til you make!”
Yeah, the more you tell yourself that you are confident, the quicker you’ll actually start believing yourself til you do become what your thoughts are telling you. And when it’s time for a coffee with a new lady, treat her like a business client at a meeting.
It isn’t a date, it’s a meeting with a client – you’ll act completely differently and portray confidence.
Be Real
What sort of woman are you really after anyway?
Most people go through life not even knowing who it is that they want in life. If you don’t know, how is your radar ever going to zone in on the right candidates?
You’ll bounce from one wrong woman to another.
Know the saying that people end up marrying the same type of person they had in their previous bad relationship?
Because they aren’t clear on what a ‘right’ relationship looks like in their head.
Find yourself before engaging in a relationship.
Figure out what type of partner you want to be and then figure out how you want your partner to be. Dating sites and social media networks are becoming a more common place to find relationships.
Misleading someone on who you really are only leads to trust issues and not finding true love.
Time and Energy
Be prepared and know finding the right partner isn’t a one time thing. You’ll likely be meeting lots of ladies before the right one comes along. If you’re too busy with doing other stuff like work, doing the lawn, trimming the hedges, etc, then do you really expect a partner is likely to want to invest their time in a one way relationship?
Tidy up your life, get some time management stuff going and align your expectations.
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:
- Do you have any of your own tips to share with other guys or have some feedback to give?
- Where are your expectations out of alignment?
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.
And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
About the Author:
Martin is a DTE, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company - as well as coffee. I’ll talk to almost anyone …. ok, anyone….
Martin – who has written 129 posts on GeekandJock.
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Feeding People 
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CupidsElves
Great advice. We recently blogged about Relationship Readiness as well!
http://theelffingtonpost.blogspot.com/2011/03/wha…
TheGeek
Twitter: GeekandJock
Thanks so much for visiting as well as your kind words.
And good luck with your book too
Gary Nesbitt
Some great tips and advice there, Geek.
For me, it's always been a confidence thing. And one around my hair or developing lack actually. Once I took a friend's advice and simply cut it a lot shorter, my baldness wasn't as visible and I noticed instant confidence boost so there's always simple things for us to do to get more confidence and from that, we make for a better dating prospect – don't we?
And I never even thought of the 'it's a business meeting' concept. That's a good one. I'll definitely be trying that next time I'm out with a new lady as I do know I get those damn butterflies in the stomach – which I know is just plain silly.
Thanks for the post – in a short read, I got a lot of new advice.