we need to be an effective team to survive and win

Are You Really For Real?

Healthy and loving relationships survive because you have your partner’s back and they have yours.

Your true intention should be a journey of love and respect!

It’s a simple choice to make and easier to accomplish, if your true intention is a journey of love, respect and success.


The First Time Around Worked Well

I remember in my first marriage (of 26 years), my first wife Vicki was always interested in what I was doing and actively took a part, if I needed some assistance.

We both understood that to be an effective team (no reference to Tom Cruise in Oblivion either) we both needed to act like one and not as individuals.

We did grow apart as some couples tend to do however the important thing to keep in mind in the team work, co-operation and goal setting that the majority of the time, took place.

relationships are built on team work
Are you an effective team?


Caution And Next Steps

OK, you’re in a new relationship.

It’s typical that two individuals that have now been thrust together are going to have some challenges in both understanding and recognising the importance of team-play and winning as a team.

Old habits die hard but you need to decide that you’re either in this for the long run, have other subversive agendas or you need some help in getting to play well with others.

We aren’t all built the same way.

Some understand team-play instantly and others want to but have some trouble.

Understanding the end-game, what you do need to do to win and being positive (as well as trusting and OK) in asking for some help will get you there.


It Isn’t a Revolving Door Either

If you’ve committed to a relationship, you have made a firm understanding to be the best you can to make it work.

For you that haven’t worked that out yet, it means dedication to being in the thick of the good and the bad times.

You might sometimes have some doubts of ‘WTF am I doing in this with him/her’ but you came together for good reasons and foundations need attention and are always a Work In Progress.

Think of an analogy of the teams operating in your workplace, as an example.

If the focus of the business goes off course, a manager will try and steer it back.

If you’ve got a good Manager of people, he or she will involve the entire team’s thoughts to find the best solution to enable the business to be successful.

Same for the business of your relationship.

a relationship is for keeps so work on it
If you think you can sign in and out whenever you want, you got it all wrong


Relationship Rewards Come From Hardship

The tough times are the most rewarding, as well as revealing too.

They reveal just who you are.

  • Partner.
  • Friend.
  • Traitor.
  • Asshole

These challenges demonstrate your resolve to each other’s future and your future as a couple.

  • Tough times highlight your tenacity to succeed with you partner
  • Your commitment to the partnership is front and centre
  • Your partner knows you’re there to help him or her.
    • Really help.
    • As in roll up your sleeves and do the hard yards


So My Questions To You

  • Are you in the relationship, for better or worse?
  • Would you seek out help, for you both to succeed?
  • Do you really have your partner back or acting alone?
  • Or are you really just an asshole?

Do You Have Your Partner’s Back? 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

7 thoughts on “Do You Have Your Partner’s Back?”
  1. Nice post

    I never understand what in being in a relationship is like. Because I have never been in to one.I see many people my friends all sometimes become happy, sometimes become sad and sometimes dull because of their relationships. Is there something called as LOVE in this world , well strange and if its so beautiful then why people become sad, angry or cry ???

    Never found out the answer.

    Thank you for sharing .

    1. If you’ve never been in one then you are missing out, Sagar.
      They are the full mix of emotional ups and downs but if you find the right partner, the road leads to happiness in life. That’s worth the effort.
      So to answer your question, it is beautiful and becomes sad and angry because either or both are unable to live the love dream. Be it unwilling or simply their own past baggage – happened to me and happens to others.

  2. Interesting post! I agree that love isn’t a revolving door. You have to stick it out through the bad times. Relationships aren’t perfect!

    1. Thanks for you comment, Toni, and joining our community too.
      The bad times are often when someone in the relationship caves in and gives up. Weakness of resolve. Old patterns die hard. Relationships are as perfect as your belief in yours, don’t you think?

    2. I agree it is.something you have to.want.and.work.for. Ive been.single.for.a while and a healthy.learning relationship wil.definitely be whatni need.

  3. Nice post, Martin.
    Going out on a limb here, I didn’t get this until my current bf Eric. He’s such a lovely darling who has taught me lots about what a real guy is. Caring, thoughtful, helpful and trusting in me, as a real person.
    Before Eric came along, i’d lived with a number of different guys and it was very much a flatmate situation where they didn’t have my back so I fell into the same routine.
    The entire relationship changes, if you allow it, when your darling has your back and you see it in action. Now we’re before in the same habit and everything changes for the better. everything lol

    1. You are one lucky gal, Bella.
      Most people float through their relationships without much effort and wonder why they fall to pieces. Unless you recognise that relationships are learning lessons in life, you’ll always get what you’ve always got, in the past.
      One of the lessons is knowing the two of you are now part of a team that is worth fighting to win. You sound like you have that lesson under you belt with Eric. Hang on to him and learn more lessons, together.

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