charles manson sociopath

Deception is Everywhere

You can’t tell the intentions of a lot of people.

When you’re dating or getting into a relationship, there’s usually agendas within you and the person you’re dating.

They are obvious, in most cases, if you’re the type of person who wears your heart on your sleeve.

They aren’t going to be that way if the person is an internal thinker, introvert or, in the worst of cases, have sociopathic tendencies and are habitual liars. Or all of these.

Agendas will be impossible to see, except to those with the guts (and the willingness) to actually look outside their current belief.


Habitual Liars

The best lies contain half truths.

It’s sad to think there are actually people in the world like this.

They are masters of diversion and manipulation.

Think back to all those News Stories where a serial killer or master con-artist was finally brought to justice. Their friends and families speak glowingly of how sweet and innocent they’ve always been and wouldn’t harm a fly.

Sociopaths (women and men) are the latter con-artist variety.

Sweet and innocent on the outside.

Habitually corrupt on the inside and most of them believe their own lies which makes them all the more believable, to family and friends.

sociopaths are master liars
Got the guts to find out yourself?


The Top Five Signs?

Sociopaths Feel No Shame, Guilt Or Remorse.

Unfortunately, their minds are wired this way.

I mentioned earlier about wearing your heart on your sleeve.

If that’s you, then you make the perfect target for a sociopath as they see you as easy to control, manipulate, harm and betray.

Without a second thought!

These people are master liars in inventing any explanation to justify her actions and move the focus away from them and projected to another.



You Won’t Find a Sociopath Apologising Unless It Serves Her Purpose

This is especially true in a relationship with a sociopath.

Without possessing the ability of true guilt, they will always be right.

Being shown proof of their deceptions will bring forth a barrage of attacks and subtle diversions as opposed to a normal person’s reaction of sitting down to problem solve, an understanding for both parties and actively seeking a positive resolution.

Sociopaths don’t do the ‘normal’ way unless it serves their agenda.

The typical sociopath relationship will be a loose structure of half truths stitched together using out of context ‘facts’ that can weaved together in their lying retorts.


Sociopath Relationships Don’t Last Long

The older a sociopath gets, the longer her list of failed relationships grows.

Sociopaths can’t help themselves, no matter who she is with.

They’ll have left a string of failed relationships in their wake, all with convincing reasons blamed on the other party.

The warning bell sounds when they pass these off as ‘that’s in past so let’s leave it there’ or a similar diversion.

The longer time you share a bed with a sociopath, the more their subterfuge, agendas and fabrications will be revealed.

At some point the relationship will crumble and the sociopath will take no responsibility for the collapse and just move on with their life, furthering their personal agenda of winning at all costs.


Sociopaths Will Attack the Messenger

When you’re in a relationship with a sociopath, a big fat red flag to keep a lookout for, is how they respond with questions about their integrity or behaviour.

When this is done, she will usually fire back and reverse the allegations towards you.

It’s a bit like always being told that you’re always looking for their faults instead of working on your own.

This is a subtle brainwashing tactic, akin to cult groups.

The messenger is disparaged and attacked by the sociopath and her friends and family (who all still can’t see the forest for the real trees) and the messenger is kicked out of their once loving sanctum, allowing the sociopath to continue her journey of fulfilling her agendas.


Sadly, Sociopaths Are Also Incapable of REAL Love

This is by far the most devastating of sociopath traits when it comes to a relationship with them.

Since they are entirely wired to be self-serving, they can only pretend to love so they’re able to focus on getting what they want from their partner.

They don’t FEEL love in the way you and I do, and will divert away from relationship problem solving, as love is foreign to them.

Unless it serves their own purpose, goal setting will be non-existent as a sociopath’s partner isn’t part of her life.


You Probably Already Know a Sociopath

Yep, you probably do, don’t know it and think they’re sweet, charming, loving and are a victim themselves.

  • Do they have short lived relationship failures?
  • Do they cry foul of their partner without drilling down to their own responsibility?
  • Do they avoid continued personal questions?
  • Do they dredge up disparaging so-called ‘truths’ about their partner?
    • These are their truths
  • Are they a continual blamer?
    • i.e someone else is always the cause of relationship failures.
  • Do they have almost a split personality?
    • i.e. they are outwardly loving, yet slides into a hatred mentality towards a someone – who is now probably close to exposing their illness

If you’re a family or friend of someone who actually is a sociopath, you can either accept your own deception or ‘suck it up’ and start asking real questions, to get them help.

Grow some real balls or continue being deceived, your choice!

It will be challenging as she is likely to find your replacement since she is typically self serving.

If you’re dating a sociopath, get the hell outta there!

Right now!

What’s Your Opinion?

  • Do you think you know (or have known) one?
  • Do you have the guts to call them out, to get help?
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Living With a Sociopath Is Not Easy 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

13 thoughts on “Living With a Sociopath Is Not Easy”
  1. Yeah that sounds exactly like this POS I had a baby with. No way out now so I just give him guilt trips and long periods of seperation for dealing with his Bullshit. He deserves it trust me :-p Great advise!

  2. im with a girl right now who cheated on me by texting other dudes she has never apologized for her actions but i ended up taking her back cause i love the chick or maybe im afraid of being alone but she acts colder to me now like if any day she could just dump me again its very sad she cant experience love cause i love her deeply but its prolly not going to last how can i break her from this

  3. So true, unfortunately I’m in relationship with one right now. Nothing is ever his fault, when in arguments he always seems to talk in circles until I can’t remember what I’ve wanted to say. Never does anything unless directly asked (sometimes) or unless he knows he will get a reward. Here’s my main problem though after being with him for so long I have lost any and all self esteem and am generally depressed. In the past we had broken up and it was not pretty. Why did I get back with him, I obviously have problems myself. And he was back to stage 1 charming, pleasant, and fun. at this point I want him gone and have even told him so. At that point he makes some excuse about how he has no where to go and he wants to himself but has to get things figured out. Then with in a couple of days proceeds to act like it never happened. I just need him gone with out him going berserk which is my main fear. Everything he had in life is technically bought and paid for via me and henceforth mine so why wouldn’t he go berserk and draw this thing out as long as possible. I just need advice on the best way to do this so I can work on myself and be happy again.

    1. Thanks for sharing your problem with us,Victoria. It’s not an easy one.
      Yes, the entire ‘never their fault’ and circle talk are all manoeuvring tactics – I know these only too well :)

      To be honest, the easiest option is to walk anyway from him yourself. Have you contacted a lawyer about restraining ordered or alternate legal options? Is he living under the same roof as you? Has he gone berserk in the past? Are you renting as it might be easier for you to simply pack up and walk out (I know that’s drastic too).

      There’s probably no easy answer. It’s weirdly comforting for you to now understand that your partner has sociopathic tendencies and you need to focus on just getting out of the situation.

  4. Hi all, sure my exwife is a cluster b, had all the traits rushed me into marriage wanted kids soon as possible I dodged that one as she has a daughter from what she claimed was a one nite stand, and the father was paying through the nose in child support, but had no contact whatsoever with her apart from a phone call once a year. This individual, my ex wife has cut many relatives out of her life and its all their fault, she used me as a babysitter for 7 years, quit my job to care for my step daughter, all my fault no boundaries. I have lost my bit of money that I had, have zero contact with either my wife or stepdaughter, lost my cat that I loved like a person am jobless 55 and being treated for CPTSD,. On the upside have studied counselling for last 3 years an passed all exams in flying colors will graduate next year. This woman should and is by some despised she is a registered nurse in aged care and can be brutal to her charges. 2 Doctors have resigned sighting her as the reason they have told me personally.

  5. My situation is quite complicated. For the first week or so, he was absolutely a textbook definition–extremely charming and flattering, he knew how to parrot me and come off as my soulmate, and he got me to feel bad for him by talking about how he had no friends (which is definitely a lie). Then, once I was sufficiently obsessed with him, he dropped that nice act, and became cold and hard-to-get.

    But then my obsession intensified. I followed him around everywhere and hung off of everything he said. He could have totally destroyed me. But he didn’t–he stood his ground and told me my behavior was inappropriate and actually kind of disconcerting. And now he’s trying to help me be less vulnerable. He calls me out when I do things like shrink myself in his presence or ditch my friends every time I see him. He seems to be trying to get me to make it harder for HIM to manipulate me. And I can’t make sense of that.

    1. Thank you for stopping by here, Kelly

      There are many reasons why people do things. Agendas.
      This guy may not be anything other than confused and trying to find his way through the dating jigsaw OR he might well be something more conniving.

      Sociopaths are well practised liars and meticulous planners, with the sole focus being on achieving their own outcomes.
      You might want to look back at his actions in blame, isolating you from your own support mechanisms (can be quite subtle) and his past relationships, if he has revealed those yet (and truthfully).

      There’s a lot of them out there so be on your guard and avoid projecting a label on the guy until you have more to go on, ok?

  6. Maybe he is a sociopath?
    *Wants his cake and to eat it too.
    *Will sacrfice family time or time with me to workout. (I now hate P90X)
    *RARELY asks me about anything pertaining to my life. Known to interrupt me with “his” life stories.
    *RARELY steps up to help me out with daily chores (Throw something for dinner together when I end up working 14 hour days. Don’t even think about asking. That would interrupt his work out.)
    *Discussions about his betrayal end up as ugly arguments…tries to shift focus off of himself and on to me.
    *Pending divorce – he begged for a chance. Ok. Agrees to but has not followed my requests. IE: Passwords to email, craigslist, FB…ect. Now when mentioned…he gets pissy.
    *Evidence of betrayal found on his computer in the past. Now he rarely uses his computer and is always on his phone.

    Why do I sit here and twiddle my thumbs? This is a daily struggle….and I am tired.

    1. A big welcome to sociopath world, Tara :)
      What you’re describing is commonplace unfortunately, with living with a person with sociopathic or psychopatic disorder. Also called Anti-social Personality Disorder too.

      Reference: Sociopathy, by its nature, limits the viability and in some cases the feasibility of a trusting relationship, as sociopaths often lack the ability to develop close relationships. They can, however, mimic these behaviors.

      Sound like the guy you’re with?

    2. Tara,

      I’m not sure if you will see this but I would not have agreed to giving you my passwords. Grown ppl should not be “monitored”. Either you trust your partner or you don’t and if there is no trust there should be no relationship.

      There is a great book called “Safe People” by Cloud & Townsend, which lists personalities you can trust and those you can’t. Great read that I highly recommend!

  7. Good read Martin.
    I have to say I agree that eventually whether in the relationship or after it fails you realize your with one. If only it were easier to tell who they were from the start. Also sorry to hear that there has been more terrible findings with you and Pam. Chin up and there is someone a million times better out there.

    1. From my research, that’s the typical path of a sociopath unfortunately, Yvonne.
      They eventually need to ditch the failing relationship as they are incapable of sharing, since their world completely revolves around them and their agendas – they don’t know it either as they completely think themselves as normal.
      They can ‘touch’ on talking about relationships in a general but superficial sense but balk and recoil at actually working on one. Feigned love, diversionary tactics and blame towards, is the order of their day.
      Glad you got something from the article.

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