i tried and now it is over

They’re Called An Ex For A Reason

forget your ex
It’s OK, you should do this

I might be young but I’ve got some advice to pass on, to guys and girls so listen up.

I’ve been a regular reader of GeekAndJock for a while now and bought some of their books which have helped me understand myself heaps.

It’s also given me lots of insights into what I should be avoiding too lol

I’ve been through a few of my own boyfriends so I want to speak from a bit of experience and hopefully help other readers.

What’s the topic of conversation?

That you’ve broken up with someone you once loved and you should just move on to your next

It’s a tough call to say ‘To Hell With Them, I Need To Forget and Move On’.


It’s Not That Natural

Listen, I know when I broke up with my previous boyfriend, I sank into depression and wondered what I could do to get back with him.

  • I was depressed.
  • I wondered what I’d done wrong.
  • I kept thinking about him
  • I was always seeing us both together
  • It was a shitty situation to be in

But is any of that a reason to go back to someone who ultimately wasn’t the right and real person to spend my life with?

They are all mental blocks that were prevented me from moving forward with my life.

It was only after I got a bit of counseling from Martin that my eyes were opened to what could be and not what I thought I wanted.

In Martin’s words: ‘there isn’t just one fish in the sea for you, there are potentially millions.

You just have to re-tune your head’,


First Step and Then Another

Healing from a breakup isn’t an easy process but that’s all it is, a process.

I first did some soul searching on what I did wrong and what I didn’t want in my life anymore.

It was surprisingly easy once you start. lol

I really went to the cleaners on myself lol

be smart and forget the ex, ok
Be smart and forget the ex, ok


Dump the Ex Forever

I didn’t count on my ex coming to his senses though.

He contacted me to get back together and I’m sure he realized he treated me like a doormat and woke up!

No way was I going to get back in that rotating door. I know my girlfriends have done it before, again and again, and it only ends badly.

Not me. It was time to Girl Up and get going!


One Door Closes

OMG, it really is true!

As the saying goes, another door opened.

Making space allowed it to be filled with something else. It was like a magnet.

I did some work with Martin first, on who I wanted. He’s written about finding your true love before, so go hunt that down and study it as I did.

I had a very clear picture of my real dream guy. Not what he specifically looked like but what he represented. You know, the qualities, the morals, the real inner him. That kind of picture.

It was very different from the other guys I had chanced upon in my past too. That was a real eye-opener.

leave the ex behind and move forward
Leave the ex behind and move forward


So What’s Been My Learning Here?

I’ve read here before that ‘An Ex Is a Called an Ex For a Reason’. Nuff said.

Stop trying to hold on to your past when it has run its course.

Man Up, Girls and Boys.

Learn from your past, make sure you change yourself from that learning, and spring into your future.

Because the right doors will eventually open for you and you’ll be so thankful you allowed it to happen.

Thank you to my darling man, Eric, for being you.


Speak Your Mind Because I Know You Have One

  • Why do people desperately want to get back with an ‘ex’?
  • Have you done it yourself, in the past?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

Remember – Speak your Mind in the comments below.

Don’t Bother Getting Back With An Ex 1

Bella – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

10 thoughts on “Don’t Bother Getting Back With An Ex”
  1. If only I could take this post back in time to show my teenage self! Its so important to maintain perspective and self-worth.

  2. There may be lots of reasons why we shouldn’t get back with an ex but it is also true that we tend to trip with the same stone over and over again. Maybe, women especially, are moved to go back with their exes because they promise that they will change or that this time it will be different.

    1. I tend to think you’re right there, Mariana. We do tend to trip over the same stone so it makes sense to me to move on and hopefully find a new shiny stone lol
      Why do you think it is that it seems more so that girls do the wanting to get back together though?

  3. Wow Bella. What a way to go, girl. Tremendous first blog writing. You’re a talent.
    I think sometimes getting back with an ex might work because sometimes you break up for the wrong reasons and a break can help the process of restoration. I said sometimes lol

    For me, after a breakup, it has lead to the same BS over again and then the last breakup so I moved on. Just like you’ve experienced Bella.
    Plain English. Move on to someone better than what you already lived through. Odds are in your favour you’ll do better than before

    1. You’re such a treasure to me, Gaz
      You’re so right about the finding someone better quote too. I mean really!
      So many people in this world and we’re trying to get back with just one of them and one that treated you like shit? Come on now people! lol
      Move on to someone better, like Gary says, ok?

  4. such a beautiful article Bella.
    So proud you took the plunge and especially on this topic as well. It’s always been a struggle for me in the past in having my ex-boyfriends back for another round. And it’s usually another round of the same shit too. You’d think I’d learn lol

    1. Thank you Marie. It means a lot to me knowing you got something from my first words. isn’t it typical of us girls that we do seem to trip up for the same types of boys and want to get back after a breakup?
      Stay strong sister! lol

  5. Well I bags first comment for you Bella!
    Very well written and comes from the heart too – great first blog post from you so congrats. And you hit the nail on the head too when it comes to getting back with an ex or not.
    I’ve gone back with a few in the past myself. All ended the same way with us eventually breaking up for good and moving on. Onto better and brighter people too, as you say.
    I’d add too that you are breaking up for a good reason and not just on a whim. If it’s serious enough to end it all, get outta there

    1. oh think you so much Mitch for those really kind words. you’re such a sweetie lol
      I suppose I was prompted to write this after my previous boyfriends treated me like crap and I did keep falling for their attempts in getting back together again and I also seemed to fall for the same types of controlling men. What was I thinking? lol
      So in my opinion, it simply isn’t worth the effort.

      1. Hi Bella!

        It’s true that most of the time is us, ladies, who beg boys to come back with us. I can’t tell you THE reason why we tend to do this as we’re all different and all relationships are different too. What I do think is that many a time we need a man by our side, no matter how bad he treats us or how lack of interest he shows in us or in what we do, to feel complete. Therefore, when we find ourselves manless, we don’t know what to do or who we are and we desperately want and need him back. What’s your say?

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