How to make that first impression count
You must have frequently heard that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover or that beauty lies within.
That may all be well and true but if you meet someone for the first time, you only have his or her looks to make a judgement. It’s the same with a book.
If you see a book from an unknown author for the first time, what will make you reach out to pick it up? Its cover, right?
Don’t firemen dress up in their protective clothing?
Don’t politicians and people who seek to impress dress in a suit? Senior female executives don’t wear a polka dot dress to work but a power suit. Cooks don a white hat; baseball players are dressed in white and the list goes on.
Impressions not only matter, they’re important!
In the dating game while women have long taken care of their appearance, men were often told to impress through their achievements or alpha traits – leadership skills and so on – so here are a few quick reminders for men to give themselves a chance at the very start with the opposite sex and get picked up.
If you haven’t done so for a long time, get a haircut, or if you have long hair, wash it, brush it and tie it neatly. Beard – there is no hard and fast rule, as long as you don’t have one like Santa Claus. Some women like the scruffy look, others like their man clean-shaven.
You will have to take a chance or pick what you like.
Going out for a date or with friends?
If it’s at the restaurant or simply in the evening, try to dress smart.
This means shirt and trousers.
If you want to be cautious, go for a white or blue shirt, always a safe choice.
Ditch the scruffy, torn pair of jeans that hang on your bum and threaten to fall off at any minute.
Women don’t like this fake look-at-me-I’m-cool look.
… to toe
Don’t forget a clean pair of shoes.
Old, muddy or worn-out shoes are a no-no, especially if the rest of your outfit is classy. Even if it’s your favourite pair that you wear everyday, you’ll have to upgrade to make that first good impression.
Given that women go to the extent of eagerly wearing painful heels, at least show that you can make an effort by brushing your leather shoes before going out.
Get rid of socks with holes or at the very least don’t display them.
Get the length of your smart trousers right too: they should rest at the top of your shoes with a single fold at the front. Short trousers don’t look good anyway.
For guys, all this might sound like small details, but that’s just what women like to focus on.
You can take this further with some hair gel, a dash of perfume, matching cufflinks and tie on a formal occasion, always wearing a belt with trousers and so on, but be careful: there is a fine line to tread between making an effort in your appearance and overdoing it. A man who spends too much time focusing on his appearance could give the impression he is gay. But if you are looking to attract women, that might be the wrong signal to give.
Women also like to work on their guy and change them to the way they would like them to be, consciously or unconsciously.
We all have an ideal partner in our head. So if you look perfect, they won’t have much to change and they might not be as interested as they would otherwise. So give them some room to manoeuvre here, that is, if you’d agree later to dress up to the way your future partner would rather want you to. But that’s later, when you could impress them with your charm and your great sense of humour.
In the meantime, you need to find the right person.
Finally, women don’t want to be outshined by their future partner in the looks department and having someone else take over the bathroom! So think carefully to get the balance right: look scruffy and you won’t shine; overdress and they’d shun competition!
What’s one thing you’ve used for dressing for dating success?