Survive and succeed in dating by using low expectations

First Time Daters

Nobody is perfect, but we all tend to be very judgmental when looking for a long-term love.

I’ve met many first-timers who think that as soon as they start using a dating service to meet a potential partner, the sky will be the limit and suitors will be showing up at their doorstep faster than a racing locomotive.

Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.

Although new daters typically have more dating activity than the folks who have been dating online for awhile, it’s rarely an onslaught of people that will be knocking down your door.

The best thing for you to remember when you begin to look and ultimately find a dating services partner is to keep your expectations low.

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Maintain a balance in expectations


Prepare and Hope

This is a mantra that could come in handy in the dating world.

I have more dating horror stories than I’d care to tell you, but the fact is that dating is not only time-consuming, it can also be annoying and difficult at best.

Think about it: you are meeting random strangers and hoping that sparks will fly and a connection will be made that will last you at the very least throughout the evening and at the very most, perhaps a lifetime.

That’s a very tall order.


Your Expectations

If you keep your expectations low with every date you go on, you will never be disappointed.

Many men and women get their hopes up so high and think they’ve finally found the person of their dreams, only to have those dreams dashed moments later when their dating services partner turns out to be less than perfect.


Nobody is perfect, but we all tend to be very judgmental when looking for a long-term love.

The slightest imperfection could send any guy or gal running.

This point of view isn’t too realistic, so be sure to give yourself a reality check before pursuing the people you meet online.


Perspective and Attitudes

If you change your perspective and change your attitude in terms of your dating life, you may actually learn how to have more fun and feel less disappointment when things don’t work out.

If you date on a regular basis, you know how exhausting it is to think that every time you meet someone new, he or she will be “the one.”

Learn to relax and enjoy the date for what it is—a date. If something comes out of it, that will be a bonus.

In the meantime, live in the moment, enjoy yourself as much as possible while you eat, drink and converse with someone new.


Adapt to Succeed

If you are able to adopt this attitude while you’re dating, you will be certain to have a much more enjoyable time, not to mention the possibility of greater success.

Sometimes it really is all about the journey and not the destination.

So stop looking for a wife, a husband or a long-term lover.

Just enjoy the ride and all the people you will meet along the way.


Have Your Say

What’s been you’re experience?
Do you ‘enjoy the ride’ or take things too seriously?

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Cara Michael is dating expert who frequently contributes her own insights and stories. She is passionate about helping people succeed in relationships.

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

11 thoughts on “Keep Expectations Low When Dating”
  1. I completely agree with this article because it has been true in my dating experience. Having a lowered expectation for everyone has helped be more accepting of people wether we are talking of family, friends or dates. People should be given the benefit of a doubt. You never know what lengths you or that person may take to make the relationship work. Great information!

    1. Isn’t it like willing to accept something that you don’t want, Alba?
      Gee, I want a Prince Charming for a husband but I’m going to accept dates and marriage from the frog lol
      How did you handle that kind of situation as I’m interested to understand what I need to do, to get what you had. Thanks.

  2. Always said that even though online dating it’s like browsing a catalog of singles, there are so many pages to look at that sometimes we mistakenly omit a pretty good match and make instead a terrible choice :) So it takes a certain attitude in choosing a date, responding to someone that chooses us and responding to a rejection.
    I guess the video was an example of what attitude to avoid :))

    1. Now you’ve got me curious, Michelle.
      What do you mean by a certain attitude? Is this maintaining low expectations as the post suggests or some other different mindset that hasn’t been covered here?

  3. I agree – attitude is everything – which ties into emotional well balance. Whether your dating or breaking up or been abandoned, your attitude and emotional balance will save you or tear you apart. It's your choice and your job to make sure your properly developed in these two areas. If your not, you may want to consider staying single.

    1. Ouch Jay, I think the 'consider staying single' comment is a little harsh.

      Dating and relationships, in my mind, is a continual learning experience. So is life, for that matter. I'm often thought of as being well balanced with a good attitude – except when I'm thrown a situation I've haven't experienced yet so I learn. And share here so others can learn from my experiences (warts and all).

  4. none, really everyone at school dates though…leaving me felt left out, but like my friend suposally dumped her bf on a simple text… he was pisses off at school and didn't sit near us!lol he's really annoying and obnoxious!!! omg you don't even know! but then it leads to another storie…I have a huge crush on his friend…he found out though and never mentioned it…then his stupid friend asked him… then after that he knew that I knew that he knew I liked him and started being really mean, now we don't talk…we sit at the same table though, the only things he tells me is chew then talk cuz I spit to much when I talk at the same time then it doesn't matter cuz I spit all the time, so you just have to appreciate that… then he asks me wheres his friend…like I don't care!!! like I pay attention…my friend says he swears to much too, I want a bad boy gosh not someone whos a freakin pussy! i think he's mad I don't really talk to him allot eithor…the reason is I don't want to be called a stalker or accosted of just liking him….that's how stupid school is…like we share the same interests and everything!!! he's freakin awesome… he's like a way awesomer guy version of me! gosh I wonder how you like 'ask people out' ??? cuz all my friends have…it's just the guy always did it…I did it once he said no then looked away..weird

    1. Thanks for your comment, rainbow chick and for spending the time doing it.

      I have to admit, I've got no idea what you're talking about though :)

      Though I'm guessing you're agreeing with keeping low expectations is a good policy.

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