Where My Successful Dating All Began
Several years ago, the shy, quiet geek that was me started on a journey of self-improvement to become more confident and attractive with women.
Embarking on this journey, I was unaware of the challenges I was about to face.
Looking back on it, I can see that the trials and emotional adversities I passed through on the way to success fell into six stages.
On the way, I not only attracted women, but I felt the essence of what it meant to be a man.
Putting out the will to risk everything and hang on for dear life, I understood what it took to be strong enough to lead and to change. Furthermore, deciding to improve my skills with women was perhaps the first decision I ever made completely on my own.
In describing these six stages, I’ll use my dating life as an example. Yet I’ve noticed these same six stages as I now take on other areas of my life. Whether you want to date more women, get a promotion, start your own business or lose weight, these stages apply.
Stage 1 – Hoping and Waiting
I was probably in this stage from the time I hit puberty until my mid-twenties. I knew that I wasn’t satisfied, but I had no idea how to fix my dating life.
The best idea that I could think of was to wait.
Silly I know, but at the time I believed that eventually a woman would come around. But the longer I waited, the more frustrated I became.
One day, I realized this method wasn’t working for me, and I entered stage two…..
Stage 2 – Idealism
I began researching all the dating tips for men available.
At that time, the best advice I could find was a book called “Double Your Dating” by David DeAngelo. It was $40. Yikes, I thought.
But after four more weeks of dryness between my loins, I decided to take a chance.
When I bought it, I felt a sudden rush of happiness. My life is going to change, I thought. And in a way, by making the financial commitment to addressing something in my life, it did.
It was a great book, and I recommend it to anyone looking for dating tips for men.
However, it didn’t make me better with women overnight.
I would go on to buy several more dating products before realizing that, while these products played a crucial role in educating me, I was the only one who could change myself.
Stage 3 – Resolution
I knew a way that guaranteed to improve my skills with women, but I didn’t want to admit that I needed it.
It was coaching – a solution that my ego told me was not only expensive, but something that I didn’t need.
Who was I kidding?
As educational as the dating tips for men products were, it was time to let go of my fear of spending money. Did I really want to stay mediocre for the rest of my life?
I decided not just to hire one dating coach, but several – and I resolved that I would not stop until I improved with women.
At this point, my game really took off.
Stage 4 – Challenge
When I was working with a coach, I began to face the real challenges, challenges that no Internet dating tips for men could help me with.
On one occasion, I went up to talk to a woman at a bar, only to be confronted by her angry boyfriend.
I nearly had a heart attack.
I wanted to quit, but I knew I couldn’t because of the promise that I made myself.
I saw no way out but to face my fears.
Another challenge I faced was the fact that things weren’t happening quickly enough for me.
I was trying my hardest, but things just weren’t happening. Worse, I had no idea when things would start happening.
I just knew I had to keep at it, no matter what the cost. I owed it to myself.
Stage 5 – Success
One day, after going to a bar, I finally took a woman home and slept with her that very night.
That one success allowed me to skyrocket.
Feelings of self pity were over, as I now identified myself as someone who was successful with women. I still had more work to do, but now, I was optimistic.
My new dose of positive thinking allowed successes to flow more quickly.
Stage 6 – Change
Success after success allowed me to internalize skills and beliefs that I needed to have, in order to be successful with women.
Change didn’t happen overnight.
But as my life began to change, I noticed that those old unhealthy beliefs were leaving my system, and I began to expect success in a way that I hadn’t before.
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2 thoughts on “The 6 Stages of Successful Dating”
What a great and true story, Elliott and pretty cool that there’s a happy ending as well.
Old habits take a long time to get out of ones system and this just proves the point that change is indeed possible.
And remember to be true to yourself as well – important.
You need to do things in your life that have meaning to your inner ‘you’ and not something you’re being pressured into doing.
Thoughts or disagreements?