What's Out There For ME?
I remember the days of thinking that everything I had ever wanted was “out there somewhere”.
The perfect body, financial situation and of course, partner were out of my reach and remained elusive.
Maybe one day, luck would be in my corner and I would finally get everything my heart desired. If I were a good person, then perhaps life would reward me and fulfill my wishes.
In fact, maybe I would even find “the one”.
Yada yada yada…
Was I Being Played With?
If I could place an image to my ongoing quest for the perfect circumstances that never came my way, it would look like a dangling carrot.
It was as if the Universe, with its superb sense of humor (at my expense of course) was intentionally toying with my emotions, by offering the promise of what I wanted only to taketh away once it seemed to be within my grasp.
I can’t even begin to elaborate on the level of frustration that perspective caused me to experience.
It’s called resistance to “what is”…and it’s painful.
Are You Like I Was?
Well back then I was the type of person who was motivated by pain.
What adversity inspired me to do, thankfully, was to look within and ask some probing questions…
- Who am I?
- What am I to learn from this?
- What do I really want? Is it the ‘thing’ I say I want
- …or the feelings that ‘the thing’ is intended to provide?
Once I got out of my own way – in other words, questioned my thoughts and quieted my mind – I received some interesting guidance. It went something like this…
And then, you still may not get it….but I'll explain that in a bit.
But First Consider This …
Now before judging the aforementioned sentence, here is something to consider…
- When we are in a state of being that focuses on lack, we may think we know what we want, but we usually don’t.
- We want what we believe is missing in our lives.
But what if I told you that what we see (or don’t see) out there is nothing more than a reflection of a belief that we hold within us that we wouldn’t recognize if it didn’t show up in front of us (again, out there) to cause an inner-reaction?
So let’s take relationships for example.
That Elusive “THE ONE FOR ME”
Have you noticed that whenever you are focused on finding “the one”, you never meet them?
It’s as if NOTHING you do turns out right.
You can be at the top of your game in other areas of life, yet somehow, this thing you want so badly continues to elude you.
You blame society / the dating site / your co-workers / the drive-thru operator / your lousy upbringing / politics / being vegan and everything else for the fact that what you desperately want –
It works the same way with weight related issues, finances and everything else out there.
Here's The Analogy
So what would happen if instead of focusing on what you want but don’t have, you took a step back from this mentality and looked to take responsibility for your perception of your reality?
If you feel you need someone to somehow “make you feel whole” or “complete you”, then what it is within you that feels incomplete?
I was free the day I had finally realized that what I was looking for in a partner was someone to validate me. I realized that I needed someone else to love me because it would prove (temporarily) that I was worthy of being loved.
I didn’t understand that what I really needed to do was love and accept myself and not rely on some external circumstance to provide me with something I needed to learn to do on my own.
It was a matter of understanding that …
I AM ENOUGH.
Once you realize that you ARE enough, that relationship you had once craved suddenly becomes less important.
This is because what you really wanted was what the relationship represented, not the relationship itself.
And now that you are no longer in resistance to what you wanted outside of yourself now that you have found it within, you are open to the idea of a relationship, but no longer in desperate need of it.
You have become what you wanted and may no longer need it show up out there.
YOU are “the one”.
So if you are feeling that the love you desire is out of your reach, it may benefit you to remove the resistance to what you don't see “out there” and instead, focus on what may be missing within you.
You never know what else you may find out about yourself :)
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:
- What resistance do you have, right now?
- Do you think that you ARE enough?
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.
And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.