Where My Successful Dating All Began

Several years ago, the shy, quiet geek that was me started on a journey of self-improvement to become more confident and attractive with women.

Embarking on this journey, I was unaware of the challenges I was about to face.

Looking back on it, I can see that the trials and emotional adversities I passed through on the way to success fell into six stages.

On the way, I not only attracted women, but I felt the essence of what it meant to be a man.

Putting out the will to risk everything and hang on for dear life, I understood what it took to be strong enough to lead and to change. Furthermore, deciding to improve my skills with women was perhaps the first decision I ever made completely on my own.

In describing these six stages, I’ll use my dating life as an example. Yet I’ve noticed these same six stages as I now take on other areas of my life. Whether you want to date more women, get a promotion, start your own business or lose weight, these stages apply.

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Stage 1 – Hoping and Waiting

I was probably in this stage from the time I hit puberty until my mid-twenties. I knew that I wasn’t satisfied, but I had no idea how to fix my dating life.

The best idea that I could think of was to wait.

Silly I know, but at the time I believed that eventually a woman would come around. But the longer I waited, the more frustrated I became.

One day, I realized this method wasn’t working for me, and I entered stage two…..

 

Stage 2 – Idealism

I began researching all the dating tips for men available.

At that time, the best advice I could find was a book called “Double Your Dating” by David DeAngelo. It was $40. Yikes, I thought.

That’s expensive.

But after four more weeks of dryness between my loins, I decided to take a chance.

When I bought it, I felt a sudden rush of happiness. My life is going to change, I thought. And in a way, by making the financial commitment to addressing something in my life, it did.

It was a great book, and I recommend it to anyone looking for dating tips for men.

However, it didn’t make me better with women overnight.

I would go on to buy several more dating products before realizing that, while these products played a crucial role in educating me, I was the only one who could change myself.

 

Stage 3 – Resolution

I knew a way that guaranteed to improve my skills with women, but I didn’t want to admit that I needed it.

Never think just by starting that you'll get the pot of gold immediately.
Think of it as a journey of discovery and wonder.
Have you ever considered this?

It was coaching – a solution that my ego told me was not only expensive, but something that I didn’t need.

Who was I kidding?

As educational as the dating tips for men products were, it was time to let go of my fear of spending money. Did I really want to stay mediocre for the rest of my life?

I decided not just to hire one dating coach, but several – and I resolved that I would not stop until I improved with women.

At this point, my game really took off.

 

Stage 4 – Challenge

When I was working with a coach, I began to face the real challenges, challenges that no Internet dating tips for men could help me with.

On one occasion, I went up to talk to a woman at a bar, only to be confronted by her angry boyfriend.

I nearly had a heart attack.

I wanted to quit, but I knew I couldn’t because of the promise that I made myself.

I saw no way out but to face my fears.

Another challenge I faced was the fact that things weren’t happening quickly enough for me.

I was trying my hardest, but things just weren’t happening. Worse, I had no idea when things would start happening.

Dating (and everything in life) becomes successful by determination to seek and discover and win
Keep on trucking!

I just knew I had to keep at it, no matter what the cost. I owed it to myself.

 

Stage 5 – Success

One day, after going to a bar, I finally took a woman home and slept with her that very night.

That one success allowed me to skyrocket.

Feelings of self pity were over, as I now identified myself as someone who was successful with women. I still had more work to do, but now, I was optimistic.

My new dose of positive thinking allowed successes to flow more quickly.

 

Stage 6 – Change

Success after success allowed me to internalize skills and beliefs that I needed to have, in order to be successful with women.

Change didn’t happen overnight.

But as my life began to change, I noticed that those old unhealthy beliefs were leaving my system, and I began to expect success in a way that I hadn’t before.

 

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Elliott is the owner of Authentic Online Dating Tips For Men

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.