Bad Date Rescue – Is It Really Needed?
As far as dating goes, discovering you’re with the wrong person and getting the hell out of a bad date situation is common.
Have you ever been in that situation?
I never had an opportunity to use eHarmony, even though I am led to believe its so-called ‘dating algorithm’ provides for a better date matching experience.
With any statistical analysis, I’d have some great matches as well as disasters.
But eHarmony actually has an iPhone app called Bad Date Rescue, for falsely extracting you from a potentially disastrous dating session – I found that rather difficult to fathom.
A Date Rescue – But Why?
I remember those many years ago when I was dating and searching out for that next ‘Ms. Right’. As I’ve previously said, I used Facebook as the ultimate dating engine that suited my needs.
I explained the process to a friend only a few days ago and it basically went like this:
- Women knew by my status that I was ‘on the market’.
- I used a few Facebook Dating apps to find that next potential woman.
- After some Facebook messaging, my next step was to get out there and have a coffee.
- Yes, coffee.
- No dinner date as, in my mind, there are far too many pressures attached.
- Lighthearted, avoid the first bad date mistake.
- Coffee is light-hearted.
- It can be as short or long as the situation dictates.
- I made it very clear prior to the coffee that we were both more than OK to wrap things up when we needed to – no pressure and some people don’t ‘gel’ with others.
- The initial outcome of the coffee meeting was whether there was something mutual in each other.
- Yes, coffee.
Expectations Set – No Rescue Required
So re-read those previously set expectations that are a breath of fresh air.
The ladies I met chose the place of the meeting, they said it was really wonderful to go out for a coffee with a guy and know full well what I was looking for and they had full permission to ditch me too.
How many dates are entered into, with nothing defined and there are mind games being played by both sides?
Getting to meet someone that’s compatible is tough enough, without the need for vague inference or a total of expectation or an understanding of what each of the parties is ultimately looking for.
Set Out Your Next Date With Some Defined Outcomes
I’m betting if you’re reading this and you’re on the dating circuit then you’re probably in a continual state of confusion.
You have no idea what the other person is looking for.
Am I right?
Expect the same result if you keep doing the same thing
If you’ve ever been confused, try something new. You might be pleasantly surprised.
- So, let’s start out with where you’ll looking for this date to go?
- Can we forget the usual dating small talk and each answer with our life-goals? I’ll go first.
- Let’s agree if, at any time, we think the other isn’t right that we say so and agree to have a nice dinner/coffee/lunch and remain friends. What do you think of that?
Over To You
Now that we’ve reached the bottom, here’s what you can do next:
- What are your thoughts on being ‘falsely’ rescued from a bad date?
- Do you always start with small talk but wished you knew what the other person was really after?
- What’s one other way to start a genuine conversation with a date?
And thanks for reading too – I’ll see you in the comments.
4 thoughts on “Bad Date Rescue – Is This Actually A Better Way?”
Coffee is casual and it builds up and keeps the conversation going. I’m not comfortable with dinner on the very first date, one because it is for a short time and two, it gets a little formal and I need to have a breather :) Nice read.
Ahh gotta love a gal who enjoys a coffee chat :)
First dates should always e a casual event and a time to chill, relax and get to know a little about the other person. Forget the formality, as you say.
Good thoughts, Fatima.
Firstly, I want to say is that I am just a sucker for coffee days. I find these kinds of dates “the best”. You can talk to the other person for hours with a cup of coffee and know him better. I somehow believe that dinner dates actually pose a hindrance in the dating mechanism as many guys actually start concentrating on food instead of the date. I truly wish to know the real intention as well as expectation of the partner from the date, But it is indeed a cumbersome task, as reading somebody’s mind is totally out of the box. Thanks for the share. I had a nice time reading it.
Totally agree with you, Aayna. Coffee is just one of those pleasurable experiences that is best shared – ideal for a first date or getting to know you session.