The Zen of Relationship Communication Really Is Your Vocal Cords!

I have a relationship where I’m an external person (I much prefer to talk) and she’s an internal thinker (she prefers to mull things over in her head first).

Both are fine but it raises the question or maybe questions as to how best to facilitate solid relationship communication.

And let me tell you, this scenario has caused some conflict in working out disagreements.

But, life is a learning experience and always will be.

Why Complicate Your Life? 1

Can everyone’s relationship be peaceful and open?
What does it take for a couple to attain Zen and Harmony?


Communication – The Easy Ones

Well, some of the points above are so easy for both of us.

  • Saying I Love You?
    • That’s an easy one for most people that are already in a relationship
    • It’s obvious and conveys your true expression
  • Like something?
    • Usually, that’s pretty easy as well.


Granted, it’s going to be different for everyone and we all have a thinking process that differs from our partner – I get that too.

Let me repeat that:


Communication – Difficult Words To Get Out

Communicating in relationships can be really tough and exhausting.

I get that but you want to be better, don’t you?

The following are areas that carry the most benefit when it’s factored into making an open, transparent relationship reach new heights of harmony.

They will strengthen your relationship communication style and form a solid foundation for you both.

In my view, here are the top areas that a lot of couples have difficulty in properly communicating and/or simply can’t bring themselves to verbalize:

  • I Don’t Like Something
    • On the surface, you might think your objections could cause a negative reaction in your partner
    • There’s also a good chance they also don’t really like what you don’t like as well
    • Truth. Is keeping this stuff bottled up inside really good for you as well as ensuring you both understand each other?
  • I Want Something
    • Quite similar to the above. Needing something and letting your partner know what that is can really open up a relationship for you.
    • Your partner just might love to give you what you need
    • If not, at least you’ll know and why. Doesn’t this then open up communication to understand why as well as look for another goal?
  • I’ve Got Questions
    • We all suffer from the uncertainty as to whether to ask or not, don’t we?
    • It’s natural to hesitate when we’ve got doubts dancing inside our head
    • Questions lead to answers
    • Uncertainty dissolves into clarity
  • I Want To Be Understood
    • This is probably the one I’ve personally found to most challenging
    • I want to be understood in my language, with my history being taken into account
    • That’s often tough to convey, as I found out
    • Perseverance … arguments … conversation … eventual mutual understanding
    • A way better relationship that moves forward … we all want that


Why Complicate Your Life? 2

Where does your relationship sit in the pillar of Zen?
At the bottom with a great weight always on top of you or higher up with freedom?


Expression and Enlightenment

Zen emphasizes the personal expression of experiential wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment.


Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • What one thing you believe is the most challenging in gaining Relationship Zen?
  • Does your thinking differ from that of your partner?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Why Complicate Your Life? 3

Martin is an advocate for clear relationship communication as well as a dating and relationship coach and mentor. He also runs this site and has a professional interest in online marketing and human behaviour.

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.