sending sexy text messages called sexting

Sending sexy text messages to someone you love (or would like to) probably isn’t all that new.

Sexting And You

But check out these extraordinary statistics about just how much this is on the rise in high school and college students.

sex texting - sexting - send sexy text messages
Have you or Would You?


The Sexting Question

We’ll leave the question of students sending suggestive, pornographic or semi-pornographic images to minors – that’s plain wrong as well as illegal. Never ever think this is OK.

On the question of younger people sexting though, I tend to believe they do it due to sexual immaturity, a lack of self confidence and even a need to feel that someone else finds them attractive.


You Might Want To Be A Little Cautious

Firstly, if something works well in a relationship then keep doing it.

Hitting a winning formula in a consenting and loving relationship can take time and it will be different for each and every relationship too.

While it’s great to see statistics that 73% of sext messages were sent to relationship partners that leaves 27% of young adults sending suggestive or naked pics and messages to casual friends? Jesus, do these kids have any idea where their junk is going to end up?

Yep, 17% will forward your boobs and arse onto a friend. Oh that’s so cool to think your private bits will remain floating around on the Internet, for decades to come :)


Relationship Sexting Can Be Good .. Are Words Better?

You know, there really are benefits to sexting though.

Admission Time:
Call me a prude but I’ve never sent a text message with a photo of ‘my junk’.

On thinking, I see far more value for me in the suggestive and sexually value in words. I personally find the power and mystic of words to work better – much like the allure of a woman wearing lingerie. It’s not what you see but what you can’t see and then imagine.

When my wife Pam Allen and I first dated via Facebook, all we had were non-physical methods for staying in touch.

So we really do understand just how powerful text messages can be.

Here’s a great example where (I think) a pure text message far outweighs a picture, even though they say a ‘Picture is worth a thousand words’:

the safe way of sexting with words
Read that last line again …
Don’t you think words can often better than a picture?

Read that last line again …. If I sent a picture of my arms, I don’t think they would have carried the same imagination to her of me holding her in my arms.


Beware of The Pitfalls

  • Double check who you’re sending to – sometimes your boss might object to seeing your private parts
  • If you’re not sending to someone who you trust intimately, rethink whether you’d be OK with the message or picture ending up on Reddit, Facebook or Twitter.
  • Good idea to delete risqué photos on a regular basis. I’m sure Scarlett Johanssen should have.
  • Be OK with the other party not ‘being into it’ to. People have differing levels of adventure and that’s OK
  • Don’t send unsolicited nudey pics. You know what communication is, right? Well make sure there’s context around an imminent picture sending
  • As I said before, leaving something to the imagination is so much more sensually appealing


Over To You

Now that we’ve reached the bottom, here’s what you can do next:

  • Do you think I’m a bit of a prude?
  • Have you dabbled in this wild side yourself? What have you sent? How was it received?
  • Since you read all the way to the bottom, what’s your opinion/s on why students have an increasing use of sexting?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

And thanks for reading too – I’ll see you in the comments.

Sexting - Would You Send One Or Have You? 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

13 thoughts on “Sexting – Would You Send One Or Have You?”
  1. Hi Martin,

    Maybe I’m a prude but I don’t think it’s healthy for our young people under age 21 to be doing this sexting. They may refuse to accept this but I believe they are not yet mature enough to handle the consequences this may create. For two consenting adults and people in love I have no objection. I have never attempted this though.

    1. I kinda agree with you, Amy.
      From what I can gather, it’s common knowledge that the teenage brain doesn’t reach full maturity until 23 years of age.

      Arming these poor sods with the ability to potentially get into serious sexual misfortunes is probably not the right direction, in their young lives. Mind you, it’s a matter of finding a solution that can stop them – ultimately, it’s a responsible adults guidance that the better answer – if they’ll listen, that is.

      Any reason for never doing it yourself though? Spill the beans please :)

    2. Sexting is simply an extension of sexual flirting.

      And for pics, its a risk that’s up to you. I know I’ve been guilty of sending pics in the past ;)

  2. Hi Martin,

    I love this post. I have been guilty of sexting. I love text you sent to Pam. My man sends these types of messages to me all day. It always brings a smile to my face.

    I don’t think you are a prude at all. I don’t send pics because those are private, but I do send messages of sweet nothings and sometimes erotica. Just the way I am! Sally

    1. Thanks so much for the visit and sharing your thoughts in the comments, Sally. Love you being a part of lil community.

      I always wonder whether those pics via sexting might get stored somewhere too. That said, sweet nothings and some erotica can certainly bring a smile and add a little imagination spice into the mix. And that’s got to be a good thing, between consenting and loving adults.

  3. Not sure how I feel about this sexting thing – I’m not into this – I had one man sending me half naked pictures and I thought – Are you kidding me – needless to say, I never dated him….not so cool with me –

    I have so much respect for myself but yet there is a fine line in this sexting thing – why not write words of love and affection….if you base a relationship on sex, it will eventually die but you base a relationship on something bigger – the spiritual realm – it will last ……

    Thanks for your insight and no you are not a prude!

    1. hehe yeah, Nancy, uninvited nudie pics is way over the top.

      Though I must say a relationship is built on sex as well as love and affection, together with excitement.

      Despite basing it on anything, including the spiritual realm, there still NEEDS to be all the right components in place for something to last, don’t you think?

  4. Love the info-graphic.

    Saverio and I were together for most of our relationship, but when he had to work long-distance for a few months, sexting was involved. The fact that we have the technology to do it amazes me, and I think it’s healthy for a relationship to get intimate – even when you are not together. I think words really do create more of a personal image, while pictures create more of a real life image. They both work for me.

    But, I also think real life is important, and college kids seem to be all about connecting wirelessly. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t see a kid with their face pointed towards a phone. Who knows, soon sex may be completely over the phone for some people, while they are in the same room!

    I think though, as long as the sexting is to their relationship partner, it’s fine. I wouldn’t be sending pics of myself to every Tom, Dick, and Harry though.

    1. Now come on, Bellaisa.

      Saverio is away from home for a while – you can’t possibly tell me you guys didn’t resort to video Skyping for that extra touch of connection and excitement?
      I can tell you when Pam and I were in a long distant relationship, we used Skype for hours per day. When you’re in an LDR, to see and hear your lover is such a blessing.

  5. Hi TheGeek,
    I am with you on this one. I have never sent these kind of pics to anyone and I don’t think it’s a good idea at all to do that. I have tried once to send a sexy message to an ex and I think it sounded more geeky than sexy…oh well

    1. Oh let me assure you on this one, Mariella. You’re being way too critical on yourself.

      Any attempt of sending a sexy text to guy would have been received with far more excitement than you could imagine. Fom a guy’s point of view, it’s seen as you taking an active role – that in itself counts for volumes, for a guy.

  6. Maybe a tiny whiny bit prudish, Geek lol
    I know I’ve sent a few booby type snaps to a few boyfriends in the past. Nothing too revealing cause those sorts of things can sometimes fall into the wrong hands by mistake.
    But it was really quite a turn on for my boyfriend and I have to admit it, it was for me too LOL
    You do need to take care though and trust the guy you’re sending to.

    1. haha OK, I must be an old prude then CupidLover :)
      I wonder then is it different for a woman sending pics than it is for a guy?
      What do others think – is it a gender thing?

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