Want to know a secret to discovering true love?

What’s just one thing you’d love to exchange in your life and why?

I'll give you a hint that it might concern true love :)

* Note: There's a map revealed to you further down the article so stay tuned.

What’s done is done, I know, BUT often time, that very reflection can be good for the soul.

And it can be good to enhance what’s to come in life.

This relationship tips post is certainly not about you living in the past.

You need to be ‘present’, as well as being aware of mistakes or bad choices that you can learn from, to be a better person, for yourself and your loved ones.

So what is it that I’d like to change and now make better?

 

Finding My True Love Earlier

I hope this will actually become a lesson for younger people.

I know myself, when I was a young bloke (Aussie for ‘guy’, for those overseas – you now know some slang. Use it wisely) that love was a different love to what I feel and know now.

You're not looking for perfection
BUT
you do need to find the right qualities (for you)

Young people have a lack of experience to fall back on, when first dating.

They’re basing their youthful love on a thin layer of common interests.

This is vastly different to older people.

 

Here’s a Great Analogy For Experienced Love

Think of buying your first house, as an analogy. You’ve got a lack of experience of what you like. You’re going to be basing your purchase decision on what you know.

First house will have the basic necessities. But what happens when it comes time to go hunting for a second home?
You’ll have an understanding where you want power points, the layout of rooms, preferred colour scheme, where the sun rises in relation to bedrooms and so much more.

The same applies for love. And you can get that dating ‘edge’ with a few insights. You’ll discover true love earlier and have happiness longer – that’s pretty damn cool, don’t you think?

 

The Love Baselines

You’ve done a shopping list for a meal before, right?

Ok, we’re going shopping for love and need to get a list of ingredients.

In a nutshell, we’re going to make two lists.

 

  • What it is we do want in a loving partner
  • Define the characteristics of those people that have hurt you – Character markers for you to avoid

 

The True Love List

I’m going to presume you (the reader) have already had a few dates and relationships but if you haven’t, that’s OK too. Starting with a clean slate will be a cool advantage.

You can use a list or a mindmap, whatever you find easiest in putting down your thoughts (when I was dating, I preferred using a mindmap).

The important part is clearly identifying the foundational makeup of what you’re looking for in a person – when you're next looking for a dating partner, you'll have a clearer definition on the qualities you want.

I’ve done this myself and it actually works. Start with the holistic basics, from which we’ll develop from. These were mine but you can certainly modify them or use them:

  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Sexual
  • Spiritual
  • Emotional
  • Likes

 

Expand Time – Start Drilling and Get Real

For each of the foundational bases, we now need to drill down and expand as to what defines that ‘topic’ and represents what it means to you, for a perfect and loving significant other.

Let’s start by choosing ‘Physical’ and give some examples of what I mean:

  • Physical
    • Body Shape
    • Body Type
    • Hair
    • Age

 

The trick here is to start drilling into these areas as well.

You’re starting to consciously retune you brain, retune your ‘soulmate’ radar so you start seeing people that fall into your desired criteria and stop leaving things to chance.

 

Study and Modify Through Experience

So here’s one I did, on my travels to discovering, meeting and marrying Pam.

Click for larger image
Using this technique will bring you amazing results – believe and achieve

 

I’ve minimised some areas, for our own privacy. I think you’ll get the point though. If you’re still unsure, please do post a question in the Forums or in the comments below and we’ll get you going.

Remember though, this is a dynamic love list.

I was pragmatic with mine. There’s going to be experiences that aren’t congruent to your liking. Modify your list or mindmap to take in new experiences. Things get better as your radar gets finely tuned and you’re defining on a granular level i.e. start with broad concepts and get more and more granular.

 

Willing To Try? Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • How have you defined who you want in your life?
  • Do you think this technique can help you?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Enjoying newly found freedoms, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let's start there, OK?

Martin – who has written posts on GeekandJock.